Donald Earl Fite III, who sought revenge on his ex-girlfriend by stabbing her pet fish to death.
I mean. Who does that? Can...I can't even imagine how that would go down. But yeah, yeah, it happened. And, okay, I haven't even told you the best part: the ex-girlfriend is demanding that he pay for her to get a tattoo of said fish.
Oh, my gosh. Is this not the funniest thing you have ever heard? For today, at least? And just so you know - no, I didn't go looking for and find this guy on my own. There was an article about it on the ninemsn.com.au website. I'm not THAT big of a weirdo; I only Google-stalk people I like.
Anyway, there are a multitude of things about this guy that kind of totally freak me out - not the least of which is the alarming similarity between his full name and Wentworth Earl Miller III's - but still...it's kind of comforting to know there are crazier crazies than me out there. Yeah, maybe "Craziest Crazy" would be a nice trophy to have, but I'm really not comfortable with stabbing a fish to get it.
And yeah - Wentworth Earl Miller III. I am not even kidding.