Monday, March 31, 2008

...and then I saved 11 dollars!

i went to the movies today with the lovely Mel Amon, and i gotta tell you, it may just have been..
...and let me prepare because i dont want to under-sell this...
it may just have been THE GREATEST AFTERNOON OF MY LIFE.
first of all, it was MEL.
and second of all, it was STEP-UP 2. which, you know, is the best kind of movie, on account of the fact that:
  • its the kind you make fun of in front of all your super-cool friends but are secretly dying to see
  • its a sequel
  • theres dancing
  • theres music
  • theres a Channing Tatum cameo

and so much more.
whatever. thats not even the best part!

since it was 3 in the afternoon on a monday, we were THE ONLY people in the entire cinema. so of course, we took advantage of the lack of other audience members, and sat in La Premiere.

gasp! rebels!
whatever. i have to say, almost getting sent to prison (because you know, everyone who illegally sits in La Premiere goes to prison)? TOTALLY worth it.
i mean
those chairs are HUGE.

Why? WHY NOT!!

Saturday, March 29, 2008

The best thing about getting a haircut is...

watching the reactions of your family:

Mum: Ok. Thats...thats going to take some getting used to.

Dad: How was your - WHAT DID YOU DO?

Sister: Hey. (pauses) Wanna watch Bones?

Sunday, March 23, 2008

why i love my sister

scene: Chate and I are watching an episode of Bones, to be more specific, a scene where Booth and Brennan are walking through a graveyard

Chate: you know what really freaks me out about graveyards?
Jacki: what?
Chate: you're basically walking over heaps of dead bodies
Jacki: yeah I know
Chate: like in any graveyard..its just
Jacki: its totally creepy
Chate: ugh. I know
Jacki: but you know sometimes there isnt a body in the coffin
Chate: what?
Jacki: you know. Like if the victim was lost at sea, or cremated, and they just fill a coffin full of their stuff.
Chate: why would they do that?
Jacki: duh, its all symbolic
Chate: why would they use a coffin though?
Jacki: why wouldnt they?
Chate: because there isnt a body!
Jacki: so what are they supposed to use instead?
Chate: just a regular box
Jacki: what?! You cant just use a regular box!!
Chate: why not?
Jacki: because its...its..disrespectful!
Chate: and this conversation isnt??
Jacki: whatever. You have to use a coffin because its nicer. You cant just use a cardboard box!
Chate: I never said anything about a cardboard box
Jacki: well what kind of box did you mean?
Chate: a nice box
Jacki: also known as a coffin?
Chate: no! you could build a nice one
Jacki: why would you build one when you could just buy a coffin? Theyd end up looking the same anyway
Chate: not necessarily
Jacki: yes, yes they would! you'd just build a rectangular box, which is basically a coffin
Chate: you could make it a square
Jacki: but there wouldnt be enough room for all the persons stuff!
Chate: how much stuff do you need to put in there??!!
Jacki: i dono, however much you want to
Chate: anyway, even if you made it a rectangular box, it wouldnt be the same as a coffin, coffins have handles on the side
Jacki: not always
Chate: yes they do, because you need something to lower the coffin into the ground
Jacki: well you'd need something to lower the box full of stuff into the ground too!
Chate: can you shut up, I'm trying to watch this

(5 minutes of silence)

Jacki: so we both agree that I won that argument??
Chate: it doesnt really matter. You always win on your blog anyway.

she gets it

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

things you learn by watching the first seasons of Bones, Prison Break and Heroes within a 72 hour period

  • Actors should really stick to one accent. Especially when they have a habbit of switching between Indian and British
  • No matter how hard you try, your cat will not sit down and watch TV with you
  • Heroes made alot more sense back in Season 1 when everyone was in the same time period
  • Prison Break made alot more sense back in Season 1 when the only storylines that mattered was Lincoln escaping and Michael hooking up with Sara
  • Bones never made sense (mostly due to the technical jargon)
  • Subtitles are great for those times when you're eating cereal and you cant hear the TV over the sound of your own chewing
  • Wentworth appears shirtless 9 times in 22 episodes
  • Never be friends with someone who names themselves after a brand of clocks
  • Opening credits are alot less fun when there arent any words to sing along to
  • Dont try to invent your own lyrics for wordless-opening-credit-sequences. It only ends badly
  • Heroes should only be watched while consuming large amounts of special K and Red Bull

and finally, the one thing you will learn by watching the first seasons of Bones, Prison Break and Heroes within a 72 hour period is that yes, yes everyone you know will think you are absolutely pathetic.

But its 100% worth it.

and again, it was the BEST BIRTHDAY EVER

three words.




Tuesday, March 11, 2008

One million reasons to watch Bones:

(look a little closer)

dear tooth fairy

Yes, these were all written by me, between ages 5 and 9. My parents thought it would be funny to unearth them for my birthday. And yes, I did make all those spelling mistakes. Classic.

Dear Thooth Firay,
I've lost a tooth. And guss what? I thout that I swolled it.
That was the funny bit.
If you can't find it, it is on my desk. The story is on the back
of this card. And a butiful picher.
From Jacki.
P.S I got the tooth cup for my birthday.
The Story: I was finishing my dinner. And my sister Catherine
was being very noisy then I ate the last bit of my dinner and it
just fell into my bowl.
From Jacki

Dear Tooth Fairy,
I'm sorry this is a bit messy but I was in a hurry for bedtime.
Anyway my tooth fell out so I put it in a glass of water for you.
From Jacki

Dear Tooth Fairy,
I lost a tooth and I did it while I was watching TV.
I was very pleased.
From Jacki

Dear Tooth Fairy,
I am sorry that this is a bit rushed but I had to go to bed.
Did you see The Nanny tonight? It was funny.
Good luck for getting here.
From Jacki
P.S I live in Australia

Dear Tooth Fairy,
I have lost a tooth. I shoed my daddy and he was proud
of me. I kept on licking it. At dinner time I dindted feel well.
So I lickit it and fellat better.
This is for you so I hope you like it. I know that I have riten
alot, so now I think I should stop.
I hope I like my present.
From Jacki

Dear Tooth Fairy,
I lost my tooth today but it fell down the sink. Mum thinks
that yoo will be able to find it, will yoo? If yoo can thanks and
if yoo cant then, ummm..
Oh well, I suppose its gone.
From Jacki

we have a winner


7am: wake up to the phone ringing: normally a totally heinous occurance except that a) its my daddy singing happy birthday and b) my ringtone is 'thriller'

8am: recieve phone call from my boss and her 6-year-old twins singing happy birthday, and then asking if id like the day off seeings as its my birthday. dies with happiness

830am: wide awake and unable to do anything about it, decide to totally indulge self for next few hours. Have pink bubble bath, followed by a marathon of favourite movies: dirty dancing and moulin rouge (which is even more enjoyable than usual, seeings as nobody is home to yell at me for talking along with the entire movie)

1130am: visit from jordan. Recieve 4-pack of Red Bull and peanut mnms, and then laugh for next 20 minutes about how everyone is trying to kill me with peanuts

12noon: recieve collosal bunch of flowers from relatives.

1230pm: chate arrives home. chate ignores me

130pm: julia arrives with food for a picnic where we invent the oh-so-classy act of drinking Red Bull out of my mums crystal champagne glasses

430pm: recieve chocolate bouquet from chate. yay!

530pm: recieve possibly best gift ever from Hirst family: Harpers Bazaar (with free tshirt woo!), chocolate, photo of me julia and krob, bottle of champagne and wait for it, BONES ON DVD. present so good that if birthday was totally sucking. this would save it

531pm: watch bones

630pm: convince mum to let me make cosmopolitan cocktails

635pm: decide to never make own cocktails again

7pm: home and away/cake (always a good combination)

And then I finished off the day with a nice little Bones/Prison Break/The Simple Life/Me-eating-copious-amounts-of-chocolate-and-drinking-enough-redbull-to-put-a-regular-person-in-hospital-so-i-guess-its-lucky-i-built-up-that-immunity-thing marathon.

Ill say it again.