Wednesday, December 27, 2006

shower thoughts # 16

say INXS
now say INSX
dont they sound the same???

Friday, December 15, 2006

catherine and i argue again

so just now i was talking to my crazy sister, and she tells me that last night she had a dream that the whole of sydney harbour froze, and people could go iceskating on the harbour, and she and her friends got a boat and put a blade-thingie on the bottom of the boat and went 'ice-sailing'
well obviously that was the most retarded thing i have ever heard in my life, because well, who ever heard of ice-sailing, i mean come on, shut up
because obviously when she said to me 'and me and my friends put a blade on the bottom of a boat and went ice-sailing', i invisioned this retarded looking boat with one giant blade in the middle on the bottom, and well of course everyone knows that would be retarded because if the boat stopped moving for like one second, then it would tip over to the side
so when i told my dear sister this, she replied that yes, maybe the boat would tip over, but its not as if it would completely turn upside down because it would get stopped by the ice if there is nothing wrong with what she just said
so then i said, i said catherine, i said, so what if the boat tips over to the side, how the hell is it supposed to get moving again? and she said, well the wind would push it of course
and im like
what the hell
you would have to like, prop the boat up with a stick on one side, and also make sure it didnt fall over to the other side, and wait until there was a strong enough gust of wind to make it start moving again, and the odds of that actually happening, or it happening and then actually working, are like a dillion to one
anyway, then she proceeded to explain that when she said the boat had a blade on the bottom of it, she actually meant that it had two blades on the bottom so that the boat could balance on the ice
and the following argument ensued:
me: well if thats what you meant, why didnt you just say that there were two blades?
catherine: i thought that you would just assume
me: why would i assume, if you said 'there is a blade on the bottom of the boat'. a blade. one. singular
catherine: yeah, but its like iceskating. you dont have one blade, you have two blades
me: thats because you have two feet
catherine: yeah but you dont iceskate on one foot
me: some people do
catherine: no they dont!
me: yes they do!
catherine: no they dont!
me: anyway even if you have two feet, you still only have one blade on each foot
catherine: so what?
me: so, the boot is like the boat. and you only have one blade on each boot, so you should only have one blade on each boat. unless you have two boats, there is no way you could have two blades, so you would only ever need one blade because its not as if people sail with one foot on each boat, they just have one boat. if they had two boots, they would have two blades. and the boot is like the boat. so if you had two boats, you would have two blades. but you dont. you only have one boat. so you only have one blade
catherine: (pause) yeah, but people dont iceskate on one foot

anyway i feel like my point came off fairly well, and once again, catherine lost

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

attacked AGAIN

so anyway, today i was putting up the christmas tree, which is pretty much the highlight of my year since i always do it by myself coz the rest of my family are such buttbags that theyre always 'out' or 'busy' when it comes to putting up the christmas tree (like i care, they would just get in my way and mess the whole thing up anyway)
anyway what was i saying?
oh yeah so i was putting up the christmas tree, and i had just put all the tinsel on and turned around to get the box of decorations, and what was on the lid of the box?
so anyway of course i screamed and then did that shudder thing you do when you want to die because there is a giant spider in front of you, then i hid under the chair for a while
anyway then i realised that a) my sister usually fights my spider battles for me, and b) my sister wasnt home and c) i was going to have to face this spider on my own
which was pretty crappy
so i ran around the room for a while, and the spider, which is so creepy, i swear it was like watching me, since every time i would run away from it, it would turn so that it was still staring at me
i mean
anyway then i went to get the insect spray from under the sink, and i started spraying this giant attacking death machine (from a distance - you can never be too safe) and i swear, it like, started REARING at me
like you know how they put their two front legs in the air and go like this:
well it started doing that!!
and i had to sit there and watch it, and scream, and then watch it again
and i swear it was the most terrifying moment of my life
so there
all be grateful that im still here, writing this post, and not dead because i got attacked by a giant spider which attacked me
thats right

Friday, December 08, 2006

blogging (for beth)

well since myspace is on hiatus i decided to come look at my own blog since im lame and like to read my own comments (dont judge me - im only human) and i noticed that someone else is having a blog-craving; beth, whose blogs i have also been craving, so this ones for you bethy, but you have to blog for me also, since i cant live on my own blogs all the time
well maybe i could, if i got some split-personality and each of my personalities wrote blogs and then they could read each others
and hey, you could write about it for your major work
but that would be totally weird
but also kind of awesome...
anyway, today was tres fun, we went to gemmas and watched movies, like the infamous wrong turn, which was a first for some of us (jo and mai - the wrong turn virgins), but then it turned out that there was a bit of wrong turn that we were all virginious to - this extra footage at the end of the credits which i dont know about you guys, but ive never seen it before, anyway it was totally freaky and the freakish-laughing-all-the-time mutant was like half burnt and running around with a knife and screaming, needless to say we were all on the floor screaming, laughing and crying at the same time, somebody probably pissed their panties a little, im not sure

also we figured out that the hippy guy in wrong turn is, wait for it
wait for it
ohmigosh is that weird or wat
anyway yeah that was pretty funny, also was stealing the remote off mai when she was desperately trying to catch a glimpse of buffy on tv which she "hadnt seen for, like, a whole year", even though the rest of us saw no point really, since buffy is pretty much horse shit on tv, for example, this episode was about posessed hyenas which posess other people with their magical posessive eyes
pretty much
so there beth, that was it just for you baby
so blog back!!
love jac xox