pubic armour

if you think about it, i mean really think about it, the smartest thing to do is to make armour out of pubic hairs.

I mean think about it. would you touch anyone elses pube? i dont think so! So if you were covered with pubes, all over your body woven together by people who dont care that all they do all day is weave pubes together to make armour, then no one would touch you, and you would never ever ever in a million years be hurt by anyone because everyone would be too scared to come near you incase they accidentally touched you and everyone would mock and ridicule them for the rest of their lives, screaming
"Dont touch her! She touched the pube! THE PUUUUUBE"
It would almost be as bad as eating a caramel slice that has a pubic hair on it.