Tuesday, July 31, 2007

coming soon..

the quest for wentworth

(more after trials)
*insert mysterious music*

procrastination was totally worth it

so rather than studying ancient last night (which, looking back, was probably what i should have been doing, but what're you gonna do?), i decided to sit down with catherine and mum and watch the final of big brother.
i know what you're thinking.
big brother? jacki, thats low, even for you.
i know! im sorry! but anyone who's anyone knows that i have the most addictive personality in the world, and i cant watch or eat or listen to anything without becoming instantly addicted to it. so big brother is a big problem for me. its not that i want to watch it. i cant stop!

anyway, turns out it was totally worth probably failing ancient for, on account of the fact that i just happened to tune in at the exact same moment that someone from the crowd decided to hurl a gold object (which looked suspiciously like a stiletto heel) at gretel killeens head.

oh. oh.
see this is why i love live tv. and big brother. in no other circumstance would i be able to drown the sorrow and pain of trials in the fact that I JUST SAW GRETEL KILLEEN GET HIT IN THE HEAD WITH A GOLD SHOE. classic.
and you have to love the talented camera men, who switched angles and started filming the irish DJ just as miss killeen opened her mouth to crack a giant shit at whoever threw the high heel.
you know what all of a sudden i dont feel so bad for watching big brother.
funny how that worked out.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

i mean, when you really think about it, there is no point in english.
no point at all.
when you do french, what do you do? you learn how to speak french.
when you do german, what do you do? you learn how to speak german.
when you do japanese, what do you do? well, if you're me, then you fail. but for everybody else, you LEARN HOW TO SPEAK JAPANESE!

i know how to speak english. i know how to read english. i do english good.
so why do i need to know the ways in which the values from some mouldy old jane austen story from twenty thousand years ago are translated into a semi-modern society through the use of characterisation and symbols and whatever other crap it says in the handout.
i weep. english sucks. it wouldnt suck so much if the texts we did were actually half-decent, but as it is, they arent. they suck. and not just the regular kind of suck. the suckiest kind of suck.
and its not like i havent tried to improve the situation. oh no. i sat at my computer for no less than 5 hours on sunday attempting to bend an episode of prison break towards the 'power play' elective. Then after patting myself on the back for doing "a whole 5 hours of study!" i realised id been doing less actual studying and more actual drooling over wentworth miller. again.
ah, such is life.

i would blog more, but laziness, as per usual, has got the better of me.

Sunday, July 22, 2007

harry potter - NOT a spoiler

although having just finished the seventh book, i felt it was now safe to explore the world of so called 'harry-hackers', and find the infamous internet spoiler for myself.
and so i did.
and then i read it.
and then i laughed.
for all of those who HAVENT finished the book yet, i can say only this: there is no need to worry.
of all the things i have read so far, only one thing is true, and its so insignificant that you probably all knew it anyway. the rest is complete crap.
and now onto my rant about people who attempt to spoil harry potter.
why why would you? i cant even fathom the idea. and i can fathom heaps of things. oh yeah. i fathom. i fathom good.
i can even fathom the idea of not liking harry potter. oh, i pity you greatly should you find the need to diss harry and his wonderous band of followers, but i can at least fathom the idea.
but people who spoil it? i mean, you obviously like it, otherwise you wouldnt go to so much effort as to illegal obtain a copy, read the whole thing in less than 24 hours, and then post the ending on the internet for millions of unsuspecting victims to fall upon. you wouldnt go to so much effort if you didnt even like harry would you?
and if you like harry potter, obviously you know the joy and wonder that it brings others who love harry potter. so why would you want to ruin that? why? why why? its just cruel. its just sad. its just mean.
its just rude.
if harry potter were real (and i havent completely ruled out that possibility yet), i would suggest to my good friend j.k rowling to write the next book (should there be a next book) in a special kind of ink, with special kinds of qualities, so that if someone reads it and attempts to spoil it for someone else, their eyes go so cross-eyed that they cant read and their mouth pushes up into their nose so they have to breathe out of their ears and they cant talk about harry potter ever again.
yes i think that would be sufficient.
so to the spoilers.
um. can you not?

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

my love?

i weep.
for at this very moment i should be watching prison break.
why arent i, i hear my fellow prison break fans asking??
well i guess you arent really prison break fans. because if you were, you would know perfectly well that since prison break finished last week and wont be coming back until AT LEAST SEPTEMBER, i have NOTHING to watch.
no wentworth.
well thats not true. i do have season 2 on dvd. but alas, for i am continually mocked for having watched every episode at least three times (the season final is actually standing on eighteen times at the moment), so im trying to retain whats left of my dignity by restraining myself from..
screw you guys, im going to watch it.

back to school

a little delayed im afraid, but a fairly average back-to-school so far, though not so interesting. probably the highpoints were the announcement of a year 12/teacher 'it takes two' (as opposed to dancing with the staff), the mad rush to finish dt/art major works (strangely entertaining seeings as i no longer care), and the addition of rather flamboyant pair of fluorescent pink boots to miss shanahans wardrobe.

the only negative thing is that im still running on my holiday sleeping/eating pattern, which basically consisted of eating whenever i wanted, and sleeping whenever i wanted (usually between 4 in the morning and 230 in the afternoon)
so there i was at 1am on tuesday morning, 5 hours before i would have to get up and go to school, standing in the freezing kitchen cooking myself dinner, trying to ignore the constant calls of 'jacki shut UP!' coming from my parents bedroom.
i am so unappreciated.
on a more positive note, in a mere 10 hours, i will be free from the hideousness that is my major work!!

Monday, July 16, 2007

the OC

so i was just blogging about julia. it was fun.
anyway then i decided to look at julias old blog, which was also fun, because there were lots of blogs about all the crazy crap we used to get up to when we were crazy youngens, anyway most of the posts were actually about the oc, so then i decided to blog about the oc because i am lame and unoriginal and i cant think of what to blog about for myself, and isnt there something called postmodernism which means you cant write anything that hasnt already been written about, so theres no point in trying to be original anyway?
so yes.
so while you might think im actually plagerising (or however you spell that hideous word) Julia's ideas, im actually just educating you all on postmodernism, so mr watson, you should buck up and give me an extension history medal or something.

anyway. oc.
so yeah, basically since arena is the most awesome channel ever, they play the oc, and they just started playing season 3 (after repeating the first 2 seasons, oh, i dono, one DILLION times), and since i LOVE season 3, i was all, 'woo yeah, season 3, im so there', and got all excited about being able to watch the oc again, but then arena decided that theyre not going to put the oc on til 11.15pm.
so now i have to sit around and procrastinate for like a whole FORTY MINUTES waiting for the oc to come on.

in other news, did you know theres a prison break magazine? and i am not even kidding. who knew there were people out there as freakishly addicted to prison break as i am? not i. not i.

eric with the hornable horn

so basically julia is the luckiest person in the world on account of the fact that SHE GOT HER P'S and then right after that HER PARENTS BOUGHT HER A SEXY SEXIFIED SEX-MACHINE OF A CAR which is named eric.
after eric bana. who is also a sexy sexified sex-machine.
and so by default, i am also the luckiest person in the world on account of the fact that i now have someone to chauferre me around sydney and not get angry at me when i ask for lifts, like all the other people i employ to drive me around (cough JESS cough CATHERINE)
so basically we, the three of us, julia eric and myself (and also julias front passenger seat which i have named sabrina) are destined to have many misadventures, not that we havent already had some.

basically the main issue is that julia and i never have any idea where we are going (proved by that time we tried to drive to macquarie and ended up in epping, or that time we tried to drive home from macquarie and ended up in pymbal), and we are too obsessed with erics hornable horn, and also i am the most annoyingly distracting person in the universe and its a miracle that i havent caused a car crash to date.

but yes. what was the point of this blog? oh yes, julias car is excellent. not as excellent as julia, but there is definitely a satisfactory level of excellence.

an ode

ode to tim clark

tim clark is awesome
tim clark is cool
tim clark reads my blog
tim clark plays pool
tim clark is quite tall
tim clark has hair
tim clark is tim clark
tim clark is fair
if tim clark were batman
he'd save all our lives
if tim clark were here now
id give him high fives
tim clark is happening
tim clark aint bad
no one's like tim clark
hes just way too rad
i just flossed my teeth.
so basically, i just had the crappiest shower of my life
and i know what you're thinking
you're thinking 'how can any shower on earth possibly be any worse than that time jacki had a shower and the hot and cold labels on the taps were switched, so she didnt know what was going on and ended up scalding her entire body?'
well you're right. this shower wasnt that bad.
but it was still pretty bad.

first of all, the shower radio ran out of batteries. which might not seem like such a big deal to you normal, regular, non-freak, stands-completely-still-the-entire-time-theyre-in-the-shower people, but listen.
im not normal. im not regular. im a freak, and i certainly dont stand still the entire time im in the shower.
oh no. no no. i like to get down. i like to boogie. i like to get my freaking groove on, since dancing in the shower is pretty much the only exercise i get.
but how am i supposed to get my freak on without my shower radio, my precious source of water-proof music?
so there i was, sulkingly dancing, music-less, in the shower, when i realised...
hey. the soap isnt in the soap dish.
where, oh where, could that pesky soap be?
as i was wondering this, i stepped on the soap, (which had, in case you were wondering, fallen onto the floor, and oh-so-conveniently slid under my foot), and fell backwards through the door, hitting my elbow on the towel rack and my head on the sink, before collapsing into a bedraggled heap on the floor.
anyway after i managed to untangle my limbs, i got back into the shower, finished washing as quickly as i could, and got out, only to find that someone left my very very expensive (at $8.45) dove body lotion which i love oh so very much OPEN so that it had DRIED UP and i couldnt put any on and begin smelling like a spring-fresh petal.
so basically i was deprived of my favourite part of shower time.

anyway, i had to put on some body shop oceanus body lotion, which im assuming is from the stone age, since i found it in the cupboard under the sink, and anyone who's anyone knows that catherine and i never look in the cupboard under the sink on account of the fact that we put things in the cupboard under the sink for a reason, and that reason is that they smell like a graveyard.

so now im cold, cranky, unfit (from my lack of dancing in the shower), and i also smell like a graveyard.
crappy, crappy shower

Thursday, July 12, 2007

toilet thoughts#1

you know what i really hate?
starting the new role of toilet paper
its hell!
no matter what brand or colour, or how many plys, its like, the worst part of my day, always
you know what i mean?
on a new toilet role, the edge of the paper is always glued down with that weird crusty stuff, and you have to pull it off to 'get the ball rolling' as they say?
well whenever i try to pull it off, i either pull off the wrong side, so that i only get ONE MEASLY SQUARE OF TOILET PAPER to use, or i pull too much off, so all the pieces of toilet paper have huge holes ripped in them and everyone gets all shirty with me
i mean really
its horrible!
why would the toilet paper people do this to me? they seemed so nice! they have such a cute puppy! its just not right!

well i say we all take a stand against starting the new role of toilet paper, so whenever there only a new role to use, you just have to grin and bare it my friends.
just grin and bare it.

catherine and i argue...again

another of those arguments you love oh-so-much:

the current situation: i, having arrived home late from the movies, have missed the first 10 minutes of prison break. luckily, i have it already on dvd, and so plan to have a shower for the next 50 minutes, then get out and watch it AFTER it finishes on tv, so i dont risk seeing anything on tv before i watch it on dvd. if that makes sense.

jacki: (shielding eyes from the tv and running up the stairs) dont tell me! dont tell me! dont tell me!
catherine: what?
jacki: dont tell me whats happening, im going to watch the dvd after!
catherine: why dont you just watch it now?
jacki: ive missed the first 10 minutes, and everybody knows if you miss the first 10 minutes, you may as well miss the whole thing!
catherine: shhh!
jacki: what?
catherine: shhh!
jacki: pfft (walks off)
(i returned in the ad break)
jacki: ok now its an ad i can talk to you
catherine: jacki shut up!
jacki: why? its just an ad!
catherine: what do you want?
jacki: can you make sure you watch the bit at the very end that tells us when they're going to start showing season 3?
catherine: why cant you just watch it?
jacki: because im having a shower and then watching the dvd!
catherine: so you'll see it on the dvd!
jacki: no i wont, because the dvd is american tv!
catherine: well then!
jacki: so will you tell me!?
catherine: tell you what?
jacki: when its coming back!!
catherine: hmmm
jacki: but DONT tell me what happens in the episode. i mean it
catherine: (laughing evilly)
jacki: DONT! catherine! if you tell me, i will slap you so hard! i mean it, ill be so angry ill rip your face of
catherine: (continues to laugh)
jacki: catherine! i meant it! ill..ill..iil poo in your bed!
catherine: then ill poo in your bed!
jacki: i dont care, you'll have poo in your bed first!!
mum: can you guys shut up?
jacki: catherine dont tell me anything!
catherine: ok i wont
jacki: but tell me the thing at the end
catherine: no im not telling you anything
jacki: but, why not?
catherine: you said not to!
jacki: i meant to do with the episode
catherine: well that has to do with the episode!
jacki: no it doesnt!
catherine: yes it does!
jacki: no it doesnt!
catherine: yes it does!
jacki: fine! dont tell me!
catherine: fine i wont
jacki: because you're a bitch?
catherine: no
jacki: yes
catherine: no
jacki: yes
catherine: no
jacki: just so you know, this is totally going on my blog
catherine: mmhmm, sure, and you'll make me sound like an idiot as usual im guessing?
jacki: i dont make you sound like an idiot
catherine: yes you do!
jacki: well maybe thats because you are an idiot and you just dont realise it!
catherine: hmm sure
jacki: i know
catherine: whatever
jacki: no, not whatever
catherine: yes, whatever
jacki: no
catherine: yes
jacki: no
catherine: yes!
jacki: no!
catherine: you suck!
jacki: you suck more!
catherine: whatever
jacki: i love you

ha! what idiots

a life lesson for all you boys and girls

so basically, its 2.38 on thursday morning, and im starting to regret that...lets ad it all up...4 and a half litres of coke that i just drank

i guess they werent lying when they said that coke has caffiene in it
although come to think about it cant think why they would lie
maybe im thinking that they werent lying when they said that it kept you awake at night?
because i never really believed that until now
you know
the whole dont-drink-coke-or-coffee-because-you-will-be-awake-for-all-eternity thing
i thought that was a myth, like bigfoot, or non-incestual home and away plotlines.

well i guess not!!
so what did i do today. or rather, yesterday, seeings as it is now today, and 'today' is now yesterday. new day. old day. yesterday?
what the.
so what did i do? oh yes lets see. i slaved for several hours over a dt major work which i now hate, and which alistair will probably refuse to model for me, so, naturally, i will have to rip his face off.
actually i probably wont seeings as then i would have to exert effort, which (as you should all know by now) i really dont enjoy doing.
what else. julia got her ps. truly awesome. now i have more than one person to chauferre me. or however you spell that. anyway im really quite on my way to recruiting an army of people who can drive me around, and beginning to think that getting my l's was a bit of a waste. i mean why would i drive myself when other people could drive me? anyway even though i havent actually driven yet im pretty sure, based on that time i drove the bumper cars at Luna Park, that im going to be a sucky driver.
so really im doing the world a service by being too lazy to drive and forcing other people to drive me around.

i also saw harry potter. a very high point in the day, seeings as harry potter is pretty much the most awesome thing that has ever happened to our generation and all. yep. it was pretty cool. pretty pretty cool. and julia and i drove (well, julia drove, i was driven), and got lost twice and it was the pinacle of my existance.
when i got home i had a long shower and watched americas next top model on plus 2.
and i cannot believe that baby Tyra got out. i mean seriously Tyra. i love you. i love you enough to watch the true hollywood story on you. i love you enough to myspace stalk you. but that was just wrong. just wrong. if i werent so lazy, id do something about it.
but im lazy
so hooray for Tyra!
anyway then i got ready for the moment, the one ive been waiting for, for, oh i dont know, practically my whole life, that is, the season finale of prison break.
which, by the way, was probably the most awesome thing that has ever happened to me.
the annoying thing is that when i talk about prison break, nobody knows what im talking about, because they dont watch it, so i cant explain how good it is.
and even the people who DO watch it dont understand what im talking about because i talk more about my upcoming wedding to wentworth miller than the actual plotlines.
where was i?
oh yeah. after prison break, the realisation that im not going to see another new prison break episode for at least 4 months set in, and i proceeded to drown my sorrows in 4.5 litres of diet coke and 3 more episodes of prison break on dvd.
so thats where my problems started i guess.
now im sitting here, blogging about how i cant get to sleep, listening to ministry of sound REALLY loudly (which probably isnt helping the not-being-able-to-get-to-sleep-thing, but there you go), and arranging then re-arranging my myspace layout one dillion times, yet still hating it.

no more prison break
whats a girl to do (apart from stalk wentworth miller over the internet, watch season 2 over and over again, and enter as many prison break-related competitions as she can find)

so the life lesson i hear you all asking?
dont drink coke before bedtime
and if you do, make sure theres somebody around
to check that you keep all your clothes on

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

00 what the hell

so for all of today i was having these absolutely massive cravings for a james bond movie, which is pretty interesting seeings as i really have no interest in james bond, and havent ever even seen a full james bond movie in all my 17 years, but dont ask me to fathom the inner workings of my twisted mind.
so when i got home i convinced catherine to go out and get diet coke and mnms and at 9pm sharp we sat down to Casino Royale.
(and can i just say despite the fact that the guys ears are totally disproportional to his head, he makes up for it with a nice set of eyes)

so now i can officially say ive experienced it.
a james bond movie that is.
,...so what to say about it.
well i think the conversation that ensued the movie can say more than a blog can:

jacki: (pause) Well. That was...
catherine: It was..
jacki: Do you have any idea what happened?
catherine: No. no i dont.
jacki: I mean. (pause). Who were those people?
catherine: Were they good or bad?
jacki: I thought the girl in the red dress was a goodie
catherine: No, no she was definitely bad
jacki: But he loved her!
catherine: She stole the money
jacki: To save his life!
catherine: Save whose life?
jacki: I dont know!!
catherine: It was just so..
jacki: I mean...
catherine: Like...
jacki: Who were those people? Who died? Who lived?
catherine: Who was the guy at the end?
jacki: I dont know, james bond?
catherine: No, because he got shot
jacki: He got shot??
catherine: I think so
jacki: What just happened?
catherine: I think we wasted two and half hours of our lives
jacki: That was a James Bond movie, right?
catherine: Right
jacki: I just..I just..
catherine: Maybe you're supposed to watch it more than once?
jacki: Maybe you're supposed to watch all the other james bond movies first?
catherine: How many other ones are there?
jacki: I dont know. I think 12 million
catherine: Hmm. I think from now on we should stick to Gilmore Girls
jacki: deal

so if anyone can explain the concept of james bond the trew girls would be very much appreciative

woe is me

so my ipod just stopped working

Sunday, July 08, 2007


so julia and i were just thinking
when you get an invite to something
and it says 'byo' on the bottom
what does that even mean?
obviously Bring Your Own, im not 100% retarded. but. seriously. any decent person would add a letter onto the end, to let people know what they want them to bring
i mean
bring your own could entail anything.
i could bring my own blanket? my own ham? my own dvd player? my own male-order husband? my own chocolate body paint? my own piggy bank? my own flag? my own history text book? my own beach ball? my own container of baby tomatoes? my own toilet brush? my own copy of clueless on dvd? my own shower radio? my own donuts?

specify people

Friday, July 06, 2007

Diary of a Study Camper

(from my time at study camp)

Diary of a Study Camper – Day 2 of Study Camp
Beth and I just decided that time on study camp is better spent writing blogs that I can post when I get home than actually studying, on account of the fact that I cannot think of anything more heinous, more hideous, more horrifying than doing any more studying than we already have today (6, count them, 6 hours a day).
Ew ew ew.
So we arrived yesterday afternoon, thinking hey, it might not actually be as horrible as we think. And so far I can say no. No its not that horrible.
Its worse. One million times worse. One trillion times worse. Think of the worst thing that has ever happened to you, combine it with a plane crash, mosquito bites all over your body, watching ‘Room with a View’ over and over, and times the whole thing by about 75 thousand and you’re about a quarter of the way there.
Probably the most confusing thing so far is the fact that nobody seems to be finding this as bad as me Casey and Beth.
Oh no. Everybody else is all ‘It could be worse’. ‘Its not that bad’.
Oh I suppose its not that bad. No actually, its quite wonderful.
Apart from the fact that the highest temperature we’ve experienced so far is about -6 degrees, the heater in our room only stays on for about 2 minutes at a time, the hot water in the shower ran out after ONE person had a shower, the ‘mashed potato’ at dinner tonight was more like whipped butter sprinkled with imitation potato flakes and THERE IS NO WAY TO ESCAPE.
Luckily the current study session (yes, a study session, despite the fact that its 9pm on a Sunday night) is almost over, so I’m one step closer to being able to run through the rain (yes, rain, isn’t camp wonderful?) to our semi-thawed-by-the-crappy-heater cabin, crawl into my semi-thawed-by-the-heater-but-similar-to-sleeping-on-a-rock bed and attempt to enjoy the only bearable part of camp; unconsciousness.
More in the next study session, during which I should probably be learning about prohibition or some other topic equally as disgusting.


Diary of a Study Camper – Day 3 of Study Camp
Usually I use the last session of the day – the one where I’m half dead anyway – to write my study camp blog, but after sitting here for the last 45 minutes and doing nothing but scribbling ‘I don’t care’ all over a practice maths exam, I decided to use my time for something more important.
At the moment we’re in our third full day of hell, in the middle of something called an ‘exam simulation’: basically we’ve been locked in the study hall and told that in order for it to feel like a ‘real exam’, we cant have food or laptops Or notes of any kind or ipods or textbooks or too many toilet breaks or to talk or look at each other or breathe or move or think, and all we can have it pen, paper, and a practice exam.
All well and good, except that I actually don’t have enough knowledge to answer even one of the questions on the modern or English papers they gave us, and mr obrien hates me so much that the actually refused to give me a practice paper.
That’s right.
And since we came in here at 9.20am and we’re not allowed out until 12.15pm, ive so far been forced to think of some pretty creative ways to pass the time.
The day wasn’t made any better by the fact that when we tried to sleep through breakfast this morning (electing to be hungry rather than actually falling asleep during the study session), our leaders practically bashed down the door and dragged us out.
Meanwhile, I was still reliving the horror that was lunchtime yesterday, when a cruel and sadistic leader forced our table (typically full of Roseville girls) to wait practically six thousand years under we were allowed to get up and actually get our food.
By the time I actually got lunch, I was so starved that I practically inhaled the food, and wasn’t even able to enjoy how awesome it was (sidebar: pizza, hamburgers, wedges and sausage rolls for lunch = jacki in a fit of ecstasy)
Anyway now I’m sitting here, with one hand on my calculator so it looks like I’m at least attempting to do work, and the other on my stomach, attempting to muffle the noises it keeps emitting due to hunger, which are so loud that people at the table next to us are actually looking over in disgust.


Diary of a Study Camper – Day 3.5 of Study Camp
So while I already wrote a ‘blog’ today, I felt it necessary to advertise the fact that TOMORROW IS THE LAST DAY I EVER HAVE TO STUDY FOR 6 HOURS.
Because even though we don’t go home til Friday lunchtime (oh, that it would come fast enough), on Thursday we have our superhero/dress up/talent show night, and so we ONLY HAVE TO DO 4 AND A HALF HOURS.
Only now as I was typing that, do I realise what this camp has done to me
ONLY four and a half hours?

I cant wait to go home. Home. Home. Where the heart is. And the tv. And the fridge, which is always open. And the bathroom, which is large and luxurious, and always available, so that if I want to have a shower at 10 past 11 at night, I DAMN WELL CAN.
And my bed.
Oh bed. Oh sweet bed. That I spent so many hours complaining about how small and lumpy and cramped you are. If only, I think to myself. If only I could take it back, and lie in you and snuggle into your sweet doona and wrap myself in your sweet scalding electric blanket and never ever get out.

Study session at the moment. It’s pretty much as bad as ever. The high point was when this bird that was stuck in the ceiling started squawking really loudly. Everybody got really distracted for about one tenth of a second, and then went back to amoebas or differentiation or whatever.
So now I’m just sitting here downsizing this document every time one of the leaders comes past, which is pretty much every 8 seconds since I think they’re onto me, so you have to understand how difficult it is to write a full blog.
11 minutes left of this session. I think I might go crazy. Just sitting here, trying to decide whether or not writing I feel that my project has made people more aware of preserving a greener environment, as during the construction, I made sure to advertise the fact that I was attempting to minimise waste as much as possible, and was therefore promoting a greener environment in my DT folio will cause the markers to fail me for being a complete dickhead.
Hmm. I suppose I better go before the leaders form some sort of Committee Against Students Who Come To Study Camp But Never Do Any Study, They Just Sit And Stare Into Space, Or Write Inconceivably Stupid Blogs, Or Attempt To Eat Starburst Lollies Under The Table and kick me out.
Which would actually probably be not so bad.


Diary of a Study Camper – Day 5 of Study Camp
Its one of those days where every minute feels like 10 dillion years.
And those days are bad enough on their own.
I don’t need them to be made any worse by the fact that I’m spending the minutes studying.
We’re so close. And yet somehow, still so far. Probably because 2 sessions of studying are standing between us and the finish line.


Diary of a Study Camper – Day 5.5 of Study Camp
What I’m going to do when I escape from study camp:
Sleep for 72 hours straight.
Eat for 72 hours straight
Watch whatever I want on tv for 72 hours straight
Stand in the shower. Just stand, and appreciate that there is enough water coming out to actually wet my hair
De-thaw my toes
Waste time
Throw my alarm clock out the window
Go to the toilet without putting my hand up
Have my phone on loud ALL the time
Keep msn and myspace open on my computer indefinitely
Eat a piece of fruit
Enjoy freedom
Make sure to tell my family that if I ever attempt to come on study camp again, they should slap me silly


Diary of a Study Camper – Day 5.9 of Study Camp
So here I am, in our last study session ever, with just over 15 minutes to go, wondering if it would be too uncouth to jump onto the table, strip down, and dance naked when they tell us its over.
That’s how incredibly happy I am.
Or will be.
Except for the fact that camp actually doesn’t end until tomorrow at 11am, which equals almost 20 hours of camp camp camp when I don’t even need to be at camp, so why am I at camp again?
Maybe I should hotwire Beth’s car and drive home tonight. To tell you the truth I’ve been thinking about doing it for the past 3 and a half days, except that:a) I don’t know how to driveb) I don’t know where the keys are
c) There’s a lot of cars in the carpark and im not entirely sure which one is hers

This sucks.
Its our last study session ever and im trying to think of something massively profound and intelligent to say but all I can think about is the fact that I really need to pee.
They’re projecting inspirational messages onto the screen up the front now. The last one was ‘luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get!’. I think possibly that is the most disgusting thing I have ever heard.

So basically I would write something witty and interesting, but im too exhausted from the hell that has been this week.
In conclusion, study camps suck.
Signing off,


i return!

yep, its me, after two weeks away: a lovely week of shopping and eating in Noosa followed by the hell that was study camp
i cant even explain how bad it was
which is why i used the study time to write blogs which i will now post