I just blowdried my hair. Ugh! Ugh! Hideous. There is nothing worse than blowdrying ones hair in 30-degree heat. Just in case I don't already resemble a sweating pig, let's enugulf my whole head in hot air!
So why, why, I hear you asking, why would I choose today of all days to dry my own hair? I don't know! Because I'm an idiot, okay? Also because when I let my hair dry naturally, it tends to settle into a wild nest of snake-like tendrils, and I love to have just one day where I don't have to go out in public looking like this.
I'm watching Ellen Degeneres right now. Oh man, I love Ellen. She's interviewing Mary Ann Murphy, also known as That Crazy Screaming Chick From So You Think You Can Dance, who is talking about her survival in an abusive marriage that lasted 8 years. Dude. Now I know what my year 12 Modern teacher Miss Shanahan was talking about when she said "Girls, don't joke about rape. Rape isn't funny!" It makes me feel awkward. Listening to Ellen grill this woman about being raped I mean. I've noticed that Ellen has a tendency to make things awkward - like, this one time when she was interviewing Wentworth Miller, and the conversation somehow turned to former-Prison Break actor Lane Garrison, who was sent to prison (hello, irony) for manslaughter. What? Come on, Ellen! You know I love you, but you've got 6 feet and 2 inches of physical perfection sitting less than a metre away from you, and you wanna talk about manslaughter?!
Sigh.
They should have hired me for that interview. Then it may have gone something like this:
Jacki: Hello Wentworth.
Wentworth: Marry me?
Jacki: Oh hell yes!
Ha. Okay, no, that's a tad far-fetched. Realistically, it would probably go more like this:
Jacki: Hello Wentworth.
Wentworth: Um...where's Ellen?
Jacki: Marry me?
Wentworth: SECURITY!!
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