I'm not hugely experienced with the whole music festival thing, but I still feel pretty confident in putting it out there that this was the most freakin' fantastic festival ever. No, you know what? I'm gonna go a step further; it was the most freakin' fantastic day ever, music festival or not.
Anyway...I was going to do a total play-by-play - you know, recount the whole thing for you in detail - but then I remembered that I'm the laziest person in the universe, and I'd much rather waste my time reading OK!, or watching that reality show about the Kardashian family. So you'll have to make do with the highlights. In point form.
- Waking up an hour late thanks to daylight saving. Huh? What? Who knew it was daylight saving? Everyone except me, apparently. And Cecil, who rang to ask, in a slightly panicked voice "Dude, does your clock say it's 20 to 9 too?"
- Starting the day with a healthy and nutritious breakfast of potato salad and tequila. Our parents would be so proud.
- Two words: La Roux. Or is that one word? Since it's technically her name...well, whatever, that's not important. The point is, watch out Alex Kerr - you've now got serious competition for the title of 'Jacki Trew's Favourite Ranga'.
- Cecil trying to speed up the entry process by pretending I was pregnant:
Cecil: (Yelling and pushing through the crowd) Hey! Move! Where's the pregnancy line?
Random Girl: (Looking at me) Are you pregnant? Ohhhhhh, devo.
Hahaha. I am not even kidding. The best part was that despite clearly being stoned out of her mind, she sounded totally sincere. Like, she actually believed I was pregnant. And she was actually devo about it.
- A brief wave of nausea that hit at around 2pm, reminding us that tequila shots before 10am are never a good idea. Well, lesson learned.
- Getting lifted up on some guys shoulders at Busy P, one of whom had just re-pierced his own tongue with a random chicks belly-button ring. Yeah, at first I was like "Whoa, hardcore", but the more I thought about it, I was like "Whoa, unhygenic".
- Getting accosted by a drunken Frenchman who accidentally burned Gemma's thigh with the butt of his cigarette before announcing his plan to create some sort of bionic woman using Elle's face, Gemma's legs and my upper body.
- Empire Of The Sun pausing mid-set to have some sort of insane asthma attack. Seriously. For two minutes, it was just silence and heavy breathing. I think it was actually part of the performance, but it sure sounded weird. Like, the guy next to me turned to ask "Do you think he has emphysema?"
- The closing performance: La Roux. Yeah, I know I already talked about her. So sue me - she was so flippin' crazy-good, she deserves two dot points. I don't even know how to describe how good she was. Even 'disco fabulous' doesn't cover it. My favourite part was the bass, which was so heavy you could actually feel your organs rattling around in your chest. I remember thinking to myself "I'm probably having a heart attack right now but I don't care; this would be such a cool way to die." Ha.
And so on. The whole Cecil/Stoned Chick/Pregnancy Line thing took out "Moment of the Day", until the very end of the night, when Elle, Gem and Mischa dropped me home, and while walking up my pitch-black front path, I was attacked by a bat. Classic.