The Long Weekend

Long Weekend you crazy blog-readers. Did everyone have as good of a time as I did? I sincerely doubt it. Because unless your weekend started with the world's best cocktail and ended with a cable-car ride across Taronga Zoo, it doesn't even come close to mine. To be honest, I wasn't even going to blog about it. It was that good. It was that good. And my decidedly sub-par writing skills probably aren't going to do it justice. But my good friend - and arguably the biggest fan of this series of seemingly insane rants I call a website - Jane du Toit asked me to. And God knows that whenever Janey asks me to do something, I find it nearly impossible to resist. Even weird stuff. Even crazy stuff. Even dirty stuff.
Oh, who are we kidding?
Especially dirty stuff.
So here goes.
Saturday.
I count saturday as part of the weekend. I mean, obviously. But usually I don't, since while everyone else is sleeping in or making eggs or driving to netball, I go to work on saturday mornings. So for me the weekend usually begins on a sunday. It also happens to end on a sunday, but that's a bitter and slothful rant I'll save for another time. This weekend however, began on saturday. Yeah I still had to work - but I was so amped up about the impending awesomeness of saturday night that (between surfing YouTube and pounding the cuppaccinos) I got hardly anything done. At the end of the day it kind of just felt like I'd been hanging out in a hairdresser for 9 and a half hours. And then came saturday night. The first leg of Ellen's 21st birthday marathon weekend. After a brief pre-party at Ellen and Mischa's apartment (where I may or may not have invented my very own cocktail; aptly named 'The Incredible Hulk' on account of the fact that it's bright green) we headed to Toko on Crown Street for dinner and drinks. Okay, so Toko. Putting aside the fact that there's a martini on the menu with fairy floss in it, this place is one of my favourite bars in Sydney. Why? Because Lady GaGa went there. And anyone who knows me knows that if it were physically possible to remove another persons skin and wear it as a jacket, I would be zipping up my GaGa coat right now.

Sunday.
So after an early morning start, I picked up Madi, Tegan and The Navy Man (yeah, did I mention he was in town?) and headed to one of my other favourite places in Sydney. The Illustrated Man. Um, yeah. Hi Mum! Hi Dad! I guess this is as good a time as any to let you know I've been thinking about getting another tattoo for a while now...if it's any consolation, it's really more of a continuation of one I already have. It's easily hidden. And I am totally okay with you just pretending you can't see it. Moving on.
After that little adventure, The Navy Man and I headed back to Elle and Mischa's for a baking/cocktail/V-Energy-Shot-and-lolly-pop party. Then at around 9 we drove to Kit&Caboodle to meet up with two more of my favourite people, Jane and Dante. I know what you're thinking - can this night get any better? Well, when you factor in the $5.00 drinks at Kit&Caboodle and The Navy Man's weirdly hilarious fixation with Dante's facial hair, I'd say yeah. It can. I'm not going to divulge too many details; partly to respect the dignity of those involved, and mostly because you'll probably find photographic evidence of the whole thing on Facebook soon anyway. But here's a small teaser:

• 7 dollar pizza
• Disco music
• Tequila
• A birthday dance
• A hilarious trip to the bathroom
• A ridiculously intense conversation about the pros and cons of lipstick
• Jane's tongue

Monday.
Ellen's actual birthday. Ellen! 21! All grown up! And what better way to celebrate the official entry into adulthood than with a trip to Taronga Zoo. Despite the fact that collectively we'd all had less than 6 hours of sleep, by 10am we were rearing to go. I personally hadn't visited any zoo since the age of about 13 so I'd kind of forgotten - but animals are pretty flippin' cool. Even on a public holiday when you're surrounded by long lines, crying babies and pram-weilding mothers who take the term 'crazy bitch' to a whole other level. My favourite part? Probably the bird show. Not only because it starred a bow-legged vulture named Lesley whose main act seemed to involve awkwardly hobbling from one side of the stage to the other, but also because we were making jokes about the birds being cocaine-addicted robots the whole time. I know. Very adult.

So there you have it. My long weekend. Did I get everything down? Obviously not. The past few days have included so many crazy-enjoyable moments, it'd be impossible to tell you all of them. Plus there's that whole thing about me being incredibly lazy and forgetful. Oh, and the fact that my parents will probably read this. But at least I've given you the highlights - so enjoy them. Write them down. Tell them at parties. If nothing else, you'll at least get a few laughs...and maybe an Incredible Hulk request.