Monday, June 28, 2010

Everyone's thinking it, I'm just going to say it:

Yesterday was the coldest fucking day in the history of the universe.

Today isn't much better, but yesterday...Brrrr! My goodness. I've never felt cold like that in my life. Never! Not once, though it's pretty common knowledge that I was raised by two eskimos on an Antarctican snow station. That is a lie, but still. Cold. It was cold. I have frostbite on body parts I didn't even know existed.
I think my favourite part ('favourite' here meaning 'the part I will continue to have nightmares about for years') was my boss's new theory that if we leave the salon door open all day, it'll encourage more people to just walk in off the street. Sidenote: it doesn't. And now I only have 7 toes. I mean, maybe it would have worked if it weren't for the fact that the entire front wall of our salon is made out of door. I'm not kidding. It was like going to work in a wind tunnel - a shiny, pretty, reflective and stylishly-decorated wind tunnel. One that's filled with hair.
Anyway, it was a pretty slow day. How slow? I hear you asking. Well, most of it was spent playing marathon rounds of a little game I like to call 'Finding Creative Ways To Stay Warm That Won't Get Me Fired', if that's any indication. Just for the record: hugging the espresso machine will work. Sticking a hairdryer down the front of your dress will not.

In other news, has anyone else heard the Titanic 2 rumour thats been floating around? I can honestly say I've never been more excited to see anything in my life; and that includes the episode of Home And Away guest-starring Lleyton Hewitt. For those of you who don't spend your workdays cruising, here's a little preview:
On the 100th anniversary of the original voyage, a modern luxury liner christened 'Titanic 2' follows the path of it's namesake. But when a tsunami hurls an iceberg into the new ship's path, the passengers and crew must fight to avoid a similar fate.
I know. Amazing. I'm sure you'll all be shocked and saddened to hear that neither Kate Winslet nor Leonardo di Caprio will be appearing in their original roles, though I can't imagine why. Surely Ms Winslet realises this is pretty much her only chance for a second Oscar win? I don't understand actors.

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