Monday, January 18, 2010

Who Wears A Beanie To The Golden Globes?!

Usually I feel kind of guilty about it, but today I've had no personal qualms with sitting in front of the TV for 4 straight hours - even though I'm unemployed and broke and have a mother who is constantly nagging me to get a job - because the Golden Globes were on. And any event that combines celebrities, public speaking and alcohol is pretty high on my list of priorities.
I'll look for a job tomorrow.
First, let's talk about Meryl Streep. Is it totally weird that I am a little bit in love with her? I know she's like 60, but all I want to do is invite her over for pizza and a Prison Break marathon. She'd enjoy that, right? I find it hard to imagine a woman who wouldn't appreciate Wentworth Miller in all his tattoo-ed glory. And everyone loves pizza.
Another person I've discovered I have a weird thing for is Julia Roberts. In her carpet interview she said something about NBC being 'in the toilet!' which I thought was very funny, but probably only because I am enough of a loser to be following this whole Jay Leno/Conan O'Brien debacle. She also looks alot younger than she is, and that always scores points with me.
I think one of my favourite things about the whole day was the Red Carpet, mainly because it was raining, and Fergie's hair frizzed right up. Celebrities - they're just like you and me!
I also enjoyed Chloe Sevigny's dress. Well, no. I enjoyed making fun of Chloe Sevigny's dress, and then revelling in the moment when someone stepped on the train and ripped it. Gold.
Nicole Kidman...well, here's how my reaction went:

Jacki: Why does Nicole Kidman always wear clothes that are the same colour as her skin?
Catherine: I don't know.

She does though. Still, I am so obsessed with every Baz Luhrmann film ever made that I can overlook it. Yeah, and just for the record:
Ricky Gervais was a pretty damn good host, if for no other reason, then just because of the way he pronounces the word 'category'.
I could listen to that man talk forever. Dammit, why can't I be British?

Mel Gibson got up at some point to make a very confusing joke about the movie Inglorious Basterds which I didn't really get because I was too distracted by the fact that he has grey hair now. And that his suit was about 3 sizes too big. And that he was even there really, because seriously when was the last time you watched a movie with Mel Gibson in it?
Haha. I'm mean.
Speaking of confusing jokes that people don't get, Toni Collette said something funny in her speech about her last trip to the Golden Globes, and how she went to the loo and missed her whole category.
Dead silence.
I laughed, but I think I was the only one since (I am assuming) Americans dont know the meaning of the word 'loo'. Poor Toni.
What else?
As James Cameron was walking up to collect his award for best director, they played a Celine Dion song. Really you guys? Celine Dion? Titanic was more than 10 years ago, yo. You do realise he's got a new movie now, right? I don't know if you've heard of it, it's got blue people and dinosaurs and a war about some shit that wasn't explained in the trailer? Check it out. Really. Looks pretty good.

Now, about the worst part of the appearance by Taylor Lautner. Okay, no, that's not true. The worst part was that all The Hangover cast members were there except for the dude who plays Allen. What? No! Allen is my reason for living! Well, no, strictly Wentworth is my reason for living. But Allen is definitely an inspiration for the insane portion of my personality. So, like 97% of it.
What was I saying? Oh, Taylor Lautner. Firstly because, well, he's Jacob. Whom I loath with an intensity that rivals Luke Skywalker's hatred of Darth Vader. Yes, Jacob Black is my Darth Vader. That makes no sense, but whatever. I also feel like it's a bit unfair for ONE person to possess so much of the handsome gene. Pass it around, greedy!

Alright, I think I'm done. Oh one more thing:

Ok. Now I'm done.

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