- Simon Cowell has hairy arms
- Google.com/images blows my freaking mind-hole
- My goal for this year: To appear a guest on The Ellen Degeneres Show
Let's talk about that last one. Obviously, I am made for day-time television. I'm crazy, unemployed, a woman, I've got alot of time on my hands, and I love to dance. But what is the best way to get Ellen's attention? Here are my ideas:
- Save enough money to fly to California, score tickets to The Ellen Show, be in the audience, strip off my clothes, and run naked across the stage during a Meryl Streep interview.
That's it. That's all I've got.
That's all I've got? To run naked across the stage during a Meryl Streep interview?
Dude. I need to get out more.
My only other idea is to invent some sort of 'Jacki's Quest For Ellen Domination' campaign poster and post it all over the internet. Which I would do right now, if it weren't for the fact that, well, I've already done it: If you've got a better idea, let me know. I'm willing to publicly humiliate the both of us in order to get it done.