Jacki's Quest For Ellen Domination

Have you been reading my blog lately? Unless you are one of my parents or my best friend, the answer to that question is probably no. So here is a recap of the past 48 hours in Jacki's World:

• Simon Cowell has hairy arms
• Google.com/images blows my freaking mind-hole
• My goal for this year: To appear a guest on The Ellen Degeneres Show

Let's talk about that last one. Obviously, I am made for day-time television. I'm crazy, unemployed, a woman, I've got alot of time on my hands, and I love to dance. But what is the best way to get Ellen's attention? Here are my ideas:

• Save enough money to fly to California, score tickets to The Ellen Show, be in the audience, strip off my clothes, and run naked across the stage during a Meryl Streep interview.

That's it. That's all I've got.
That's all I've got? To run naked across the stage during a Meryl Streep interview?
Dude. I need to get out more.
My only other idea is to invent some sort of 'Jacki's Quest For Ellen Domination' campaign poster and post it all over the internet. Which I would do right now, if it weren't for the fact that, well, I've already done it: If you've got a better idea, let me know. I'm willing to publicly humiliate the both of us in order to get it done.