Monday, March 30, 2009

6 Goals for The Multiple Scorgasms

I totally forgot to blog about my first netball game last week! Why didn't anyone remind me? Oh, right, because no one cares. Whatever.
Well, to start off, I didn't know how to get into the courts. Seriously. Madi and I walked around the building over and over again, and none of the doors were open. It went like this:

Madi: Hey, there's a door!
Me: I'll go check it!
I go to check it
Madi: Is it locked?
Me: Yes
Madi: Bummer

Times a thousand.

At this point, I think the other team figured they pretty much had it in the bag. They knew there wasn't going to be much competition from two players who couldn't even figure out how to get onto the court.
Our team name is technically The Panthers. By technically I mean everyone else agreed with The Panthers, but I like to embarass myself by inventing more dirty or ridiculous names for us, and then yelling them out in the middle of the game. Mostly I rotate between The Multiple Scorgasms and The Wacky Waving Inflatible Arm-Flailing Tube Men.
I have to say, there is nothing like the look on a 40-something-year-old womans face when she hears you yelling "GO SCORGASMS!" at half-time.

I watched Australia today. I know the ads on TV say it doesn't come out on DVD until the day after tomorrow, but I got it yesterday. Yeah, that's right. Suck it bitches.
I think my favourite thing about Australia is that John Jarratt plays the town Sergeant. In case you're totally out of the loop, John Jarratt is the Ivan-Milat-wannabe from Wolf Creek.
I love it.
The whole time he was acting all Sergeant-y, bossing the soldiers around and shiz, and all I could think was "I once watched you cut some girls spine out!"
Also, who could forget the Hugh-Jackman-pouring-bucket-of-water-on-himself scene? Because its not just hot, its also hilarious. Don't try to pretend you didn't laugh when you saw it, because we all know you did. I did. I laughed. I laugh every time.
And I mean every time.
I watch it, and I laugh. And then I rewind it, and watch it again, and laugh again.
And then I repeat this process until whoever I'm watching it with knocks me unconcious with the DVD cover.
Jacki Trew - proud to be Australian.

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