Whats the deal with vampire leg hair anyway?

This is my though process while watching Today Tonight:

Ok. Ok, boring. This isn't even news. I swear, Today Tonight is like the Greenwich Public School newsletter. It was only one page. ONE PAGE!! Roseville wrote a freaking book each week. And the name - News and Views? I didn't see any news in there. Once there was a report about pencil grips. I swear.

So Matthew White is pretty much the host of Today Tonight now, huh? What happened to Anna Coren? Does anyone else think its funny that 'Matthew White' rhymes with 'Today Tonight'? Does anyone else think its funny that I know the past 3 hosts of Today Tonight, but there are days when I can't even remember how old I am?

Oh. Weather. I see Today Tonight is trying to be cool and hip and modern by playing music over the weather these days. Well its not working. The weather is as boring and inaccurate as ever. But I do like this song - it always reminds me of Twilight.

I love Twilight. And Edward Cullen. Edward Cullen. Edward Cullen. Edward Cullen. Edward Cullen. Edward Cullen. Edward Cullen. Edward Cullen. Edward Cullen. Edward Cullen.

Where am I again? Oh yeah, living room.

For the longest time I saw Edward Cullen with black hair. You know, before the movie came out. Black hair? What was I thinking? They clearly describe it as 'russet' coloured. Whatever russet is. I don't know, but it sure doesn't sound like black.

I wonder if Rob Pattinson's hair will have grown back by the next movie.

What's the deal with vamp hair, anyway? Does it get dirty? Do they have to wash it? Does it grow? And, if it does grow, how do they cut it? Isn't every part of them supposed to be indestructable?

What about vampire leg hair? Its ok for the guys, but what about the girls? Can they shave it? Or is it indestructable too?

And thats it. That's where it ended. I'm still there - I've been stuck on vampire leg hair for the past 6 HOURS AND 11 MINUTES. I need to know! It's killing me!!
I think the only solution, really, is to write to Stephenie Meyer and ask her. Or you know, I could just ask Edward Cullen, who is waiting for me in my bedroom.