Well, that's happening.
It's kind of slow-going at the moment. Mainly because I've got 21 years of ridiculousness to sift through, and also because I don't have a computer, so everythings written on post-its and pieces of scrap paper. Oh, yes. This is what it looks like when Jacki Trew decides to become an author:
I'm nothing if not professional.
Anyway, here's the thing: If you don't want to be in the book, I suggest you let me know now. I don't mean to get all Taylor Swift on everyone's ass, but if I know you and have hung out with you for more than five minutes at some point over the last 21 years, chances are you will make an appearance in the book. If we went to school together, you'll be in the book. If we've broken the law together, you'll be in the book. If you've ever worked with me, gone on holidays with me, given birth to me or been drunk with me, you will be in the book. If you've made me laugh, you will be in the book. And if you've totally fucked me over, you will be in the book.
That last one sounds odd I know, but trust me. If nothing else, I've been blessed with the ability to turn pretty much any situation into an amusing anecdote. Even heartbreak. Actually with heartbreak it's not that hard - you just make self-deprecating jokes and keep repeating the phrase "maybe one day his balls will grow back".
On a related note, part of writing a book includes coming up with a good title. So here's what I've got so far:
- Caffeine And Cynicism (which sounds oddly familiar)
- Book By Popular Demand (get it? do you get it?)
- Maybe One Day His Balls Will Grow Back
Or am I?