Speaking Of Things That Have Almost Nothing To Do With What I Was Just Speaking About...

Happy Sunday, planet internet!
And I hope you're all having a great weekend.  Big plans?  My immune system and I decided to celebrate the first day of JACKI TREW'S 21ST BIRTHDAY WEEK EXTRAVAGANZA with a 39 degree fever and what I feel pretty confident in describing as the worst tummy ache in history - because it's not too often that I get sick, but when I do, I like to go all out.
Oh, it's so much fun.  Like, remember the time I got all whacked out on cough syrup and ended up hallucinating that my Dad was trying to sell me Pokemon cards that were made out of cheese?
...
The best part about being sick is that - no matter what the nature of my illness - it always ends up with me getting whacked out on cough syrup and hallucinating that my Dad is trying to sell me Pokemon cards made out of cheese.  I also love going to work when I feel like crap.  After all, who needs an actual doctor's appointment when you've got a 56-year-old client with a seemingly endless supply of unsolicited medical advice?  I can't remember exactly what I told this guy, but apparently I need to get my blood pressure checked and start taking iron supplements.  There's also a faint possibility that I don't have a liver - we're still waiting for the results on that one.

On a semi-related note...so, I don't know if it was the fever or the fact that I'd consumed no less than seven coffees, or just my general idiocy, but last night I decided it'd be a good idea to cook pasta and watch The Hurt Locker.  I'm not sure how long you guys have been reading this blog or if you remember my last reaction to this particular movie...but it went a little something like this:

And - again - I don't know if it was the temperature, caffeine or stupidity, but this time?

Conclusion?  It's official.  I'm dead inside.  Either that or I really need to stop watching all those shows about forensic investigation on TV.  There's such a thing as being too desensitised to violence/gore/murder/bodies being stuffed into refrigerators and thrown over cliffs, and I think I might be there.  On the plus side, being the equivalent of an emotionless robot means less time wasted with being traumatised by war, and more time spent recognizing the truly awesome aspects of this movie.  Like the scene where Jeremy Renner takes his shirt off:

Speaking of things that have almost nothing to do with what I was just speaking about, HOLY SHIT MY KITCHEN RULES IS AMAZING.  Is this just me?  I know there's been chef-related reality series before this, but none of them have spoken to me on the same level as MKR.  I think it has something to do with the amount of elderly couples being humiliated on national television.