calling all ivan milats

ok.
so i was just watching tv and i saw this ad for Swiss Stainless knives which completely freaked me out because it was practically begging people to become the next ivan milat.
WHICH EVERYONE KNOWS IS EMMYS JOB. which she will initiate with the senseless murder of me and beth, and possibly casey.

anyway. this is how it went:
tv: Are your knives blunt?
me: No
tv: Are you sick and tired of not being able to cut your soft tomatoes?
me: Not really
tv: Well here's the solution! New Swiss Stainless knives have a double cerated edge and NEVER NEED TO BE SHARPENED!
me: Ok..
tv: They can cut through ANYTHING! from metal pipes...to cauliflower...to peoples necks...
me: (starting to pay attention) What?
tv: And if you're not 100% satisfied, send them back, and we'll replace them...WITH MORE KILLER KNIVES!!
me: argh!
tv: And look at the huge range we have! (Shows footage of a wooden chopping board covered with 5 different knives).
me: oh what the
tv: And if you order now, you'll get the super extended pack! (Shows footage of a wooden chopping board covered with 10 different knives, a pair of scissors, and something that looks suspiciously like the hook from I Know What You Did Last Summer).
me: aaaaah!
tv: But thats not all! Call in the next 34 seconds, and you'll get the deluxe super extended limited edition pack! (Shows footage of two of the super extended packs next to each other).
me: HOLY CRAP!
tv: And its only $79.95!
me: ONLY $79.95???
tv: Thats right! $800 worth of lethal weapons for only $79.95!
me: baaaaaah!!! (runs out of room)
catherine: idiot