Wednesday, February 29, 2012

I have recently re-discovered my love for mayonnaise.  More importantly though,
Meryl Streep - like mayonnaise - is wholesome, lovable and delicious on almost every occasion.  Oh.  And she's also a stone cold fox:
The word 'love' gets thrown around a lot in society these days, which I don't appreciate.  It's kind of like diamonds, or sex - it won't be worth anything if you just start giving it to everybody.  Unless you're a prostitute, I guess.  But that's a debate I can't even be bothered to have with myself.
Anyway, like I was saying.  It's partially the diamond/sex thing and partially my naturally icy demeanor which makes me quite hesitant to love anybody.  The people I do love usually fit into one of three categories:

1) The ones I fell in love with instantly
2) The ones I grew to love over time
3) Meryl Streep

Meryl gets her own category because (with the exception of my unborn nephew) she is the only person I have ever loved without actually meeting before.  I don't feel weird about it, because I'm pretty sure if she knew who I was, she would say the same thing about me.  Alright, that's not true - she would probably say nicer things.  Because she's Meryl Streep.  And everyone knows Meryl Streep is nice.
Sometimes I wonder what I would do if the two of us actually did meet.  I'm not exactly sure, but I can tell you now it would be ridiculous, embarrassing, and could quite possibly cause some sort of electrical fire.  On Meryl's part of course - I on the other hand, would be a picture of maturity.
Speaking of the Oscars, I don't know if I'm happier that Meryl Streep did win, or that George Clooney didn't.  I've never been able to explain this problem I seem to have with Clooney.  On paper he seems like someone I could have a really good time with, but in person?

I have never wanted to smack someone more in my life.  
Well...maybe Angelina Jolie.

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