I have recently re-discovered my love for mayonnaise. More importantly though,
MERYL STREEP JUST WON AN OSCAR.
Meryl Streep - like mayonnaise - is wholesome, lovable and delicious on almost every occasion. Oh. And she's also a stone cold fox:
The word 'love' gets thrown around a lot in society these days, which I don't appreciate. It's kind of like diamonds, or sex - it won't be worth anything if you just start giving it to everybody. Unless you're a prostitute, I guess. But that's a debate I can't even be bothered to have with myself.
Anyway, like I was saying. It's partially the diamond/sex thing and partially my naturally icy demeanor which makes me quite hesitant to love anybody. The people I do love usually fit into one of three categories:
1) The ones I fell in love with instantly
2) The ones I grew to love over time
3) Meryl Streep
Meryl gets her own category because (with the exception of my unborn nephew) she is the only person I have ever loved without actually meeting before. I don't feel weird about it, because I'm pretty sure if she knew who I was, she would say the same thing about me. Alright, that's not true - she would probably say nicer things. Because she's Meryl Streep. And everyone knows Meryl Streep is nice.
Sometimes I wonder what I would do if the two of us actually did meet. I'm not exactly sure, but I can tell you now it would be ridiculous, embarrassing, and could quite possibly cause some sort of electrical fire. On Meryl's part of course - I on the other hand, would be a picture of maturity.
Speaking of the Oscars, I don't know if I'm happier that Meryl Streep did win, or that George Clooney didn't. I've never been able to explain this problem I seem to have with Clooney. On paper he seems like someone I could have a really good time with, but in person?
I have never wanted to smack someone more in my life.
Well...maybe Angelina Jolie.