Monday, February 06, 2012

Joint Showers, Hotcakes and The Superbowl

So anyway.
In news that nobody but my therapist could possibly want to know about, last night I got to share a 12-minute shower with this little guy:
 Dammit.  That photo did not come out the way I intended, at all.  That's a giant fly by the way.  I realise from here it really just looks like I don't clean my shower properly, but it's a fly.  Promise.  And when I say 'giant', I mean it.  This is probably a better representation of what was sitting in my bathroom last night:
There was barely enough room in there for me! And as if that wasn't bad enough, it kept buzzing around my head in that disgustingly loud way that flies buzz around...I'm not a huge fan of insects in general, but this guy was a real asshole.  If you're in the shower with me and you come near my head, you better be either offering to wash my hair or feeding me pizza.  Don't get me wrong, I'm all  for joint-shower situations...but from now on I think I'll be limiting my companions to the human species. 
And maybe cats.
Oh!  Here's another pointless musing I wanted to inflict upon the world:  Has anyone else heard the saying 'They're going like hotcakes'?  I have, and I don't get it.  Why?  Because as far as I know (and thanks to the invention of Wikipedia, I know pretty far these days), when people refer to a 'hot cake', all they're talking this:
Apparently the saying was invented by an American McDonalds employee.  In Australia we call them 'pancakes'.  And sure, they're nice.  Great.  Delicious, some might even say.  But the whole idea behind the phrase going like hotcakes is that whatever's going is, um, how do I phrase this?  THE GREATEST FUCKING THING IN THE WORLD.  Pancakes?  Like I said, delicious.  But the greatest thing in the world?  I wouldn't even call them the greatest food in the world.  And in accordance, I propose the saying 'going like hotcakes' be changed to one of the following:
  • Going like tequila
  • Going like blogs
  • Going like Christmas
  • Going like competitive-cooking-based reality television
Preferably that last one.  It just rolls off the tongue doesn't it?

So the Superbowl was today, apparently.  I say 'apparently' because I know absolutely nothing about the Superbowl, and I think I care even less.  But now that I've mentioned it on my blog, I'll probably get around 500 more hits on Google.  This is what they call 'Making The Internet Your Bitch'.  On the off-chance that you are one of these hits and you HAVE come here searching for news about the Superbowl, the New York Giants beat the New England Patriots, Madonna was there, and the best half-time commercial showed Ricky Gervais running away from a hand-grenade and a pack of zombies.  How that advertises Time Warner Cable I will never know, but there you go.  And I'm sorry you had to read about shower pizza and pancakes before getting here.

No comments: