For someone who's only JUST about to turn 18 (for the fourth time), I've had a lot of different ideas about what career I would like. The first thing I can ever remember wanting to be was a nurse. There were 2 main reasons for this:
1) Cute hats
2) Mum was a nurse
I was 5. Every 5-year-old girl wants to be like their Mum, don't they? But by the age of 11, nurse was out. Again, there were 2 main reasons:
1) 11-year-old Jacki was a particularly heinous breed of rebellious pre-teen (much like present Jacki, a particularly heinous breed of idiotic post-teen). I didn't want to be like my Mum; I didn't want to be like ANYONE'S Mum! I wanted to quit school and live on an island, spending my days drinking UDL and smoking a bong (whatever that was). Finishing university and becoming a nurse was the last thing on my mind.
2) Blood
When I was around 14 I spent a good afternoon obsessing over the idea of becoming a chef, until I remembered an incident from earlier that morning wherein I had almost set our kitchen on fire while attempting to cook toast. Woops! Although when I think about it, most of my career endeavors have ended in this manner:
- I considered getting into hotel management until I remembered I'm not interested in hotels
- I was going to study interior decoration until I realised that nobody else would want their house decorated with palm trees motifs and novelty-sized disco balls
- I wanted to be a fitness instructor until I remembered I am neither fit nor good at giving instruction
- I thought about becoming a supermodel until I...oh, yeah, I'm Jacki Trew
Other things I have tried and failed at include: retail sales manager, wedding stylist, fashion warehouse assistant, and hairdresser. To date I haven't actually tried moving to Panama and opening a fruit shop on the beach, so I don't consider that a failure. Yet.
Anyway. This is all getting a bit long-winded. I guess all I really wanted to put out there was SCREW YOU MUM AND DAD, I'M 21 AND I DON'T WANT TO BE A LAWYER!! Kidding. My parents can be eccentric, but neither of them is naive enough to believe in the idea that someone would hire me as their lawyer. FYI, this is how that situation would go down:
Me: So...did you kill the guy?
Criminal: Yep.
(pause)
Me: Ah, shit.
So no, I've never felt any pressure to be a lawyer. Actually what I really wanted to talk about was Tafe.
If you're a person or household animal and you've had at least one face-to-face conversation with me over the last 6 months, you probably would have heard something about my plan to attend Tafe this year to study professional make-up artistry. No? If not, I'll catch you up to speed:
I'm Jacki, and I had a plan to attend Tafe this year to study professional make-up artistry.
It's not university, and I'm not curing cancer. But the idea of me actually getting a qualification in something (and by extension not wasting my life away as a receptionist slash alcoholic-in-the-making) had my parents jumping up and down with the type of enthusiasm neither of them had felt since my older sister Catherine was born. It was all very exciting. They were excited. I was excited. Tafe was excited. And we all lived happily ever after.
Almost.
The only problem was with Tafe - a great institution for education and everything. It's just that they sometimes have this tendency to stick their heads up their asses and CANCEL the course I'd already enrolled in and paid for without any notice. Nothing against any of them personally, I'm just saying they're all terrible terrible people and should probably think about attending an Assholes Anonymous meeting as soon as possible. As for me? Basically, I have two options: forget Tafe, continue working full-time at Toni & Guy, and begin an illustrious moonlighting career as a phone-sex operator...OR actually start listening to people like Alex and Boyfriend who have been nagging me to get off my ass and write a book since the first time they read this blog.
...
And so begins my attempt at being an author DON'T LAUGH. I'm serious. Have I not been talking about doing this for the last 7 years???
...Alright. So I haven't been talking about doing this for the last 7 years. But I've been THINKING about talking about doing this, really. That's authors for you. We can't get out of our own heads.
My point is, I'd appreciate some support - mostly because, you know, it's always scary taking on a new career path. Also because this is what happened when I told my Mum:
Great parenting. For the record Mum (I know you read this), I've been happily working minimum wage and making jokes about how awesome it will be when I move into my cardboard box for the last 2 years now. Do you really think money is the highest priority on my list?
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