Never mind.
So here's the thing. I don't know if anyone is aware of this, but exactly 21 years, 11 months and 5 days ago (as of the time of this post), two awesome parents gave birth to an equally awesome little girl*. And then, around 13 days later, my parents gave birth to me.
*Anyone who guesses the identity of the equally awesome little girl will win nothing. I am thousands of dollars in debt.
My point is, the date of my fourth 18th birthday is fast approaching. So you'd better get off the fucking couch and find your Giant Disco Ball costumes, because I am not turning 18 again unless it's in a room full of people who look as stupid as me. Kidding! Actually, I'm not quite sure how I want to celebrate my birthday yet. Should I have a theme? Should I not have a theme? Should we go out? Should we stay in the apartment? Should I bother inviting Wentworth Miller again?
Maybe I could hire a party planner. Party Planners would love me. I would be the easiest client ever. They don't even have to talk to me - I can fit all my party requirements on a post it:
Anyway. March 10th - that's the date. If you like disco, tequila and/or nudity, save it. If not, stop being such a square. It's my birthday.
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