Hello earth. I feel like an idiot right now, because I got sunburnt sitting in traffic today.
I got sunburnt. Sitting in traffic.
This sucks! I slip-slop-slapped my way to pasty skin all summer long, and I get sunburnt sitting in my Dad's car in the last week of February?
SCREW YOU, GLOBAL WARMING!
The best part is that because I got burnt while sitting in a car, it's only on one side. Do you get what I mean? I'm like a human Neenish Tart. I could star in a remake of Michael Jackson's Black Or White video all by myself. Is it Christmas again already? Coz my face looks like a candy cane!
Alright, is that enough of those?
So Jackie Collins is being interviewed on Chelsea Lately right now. You know, the author?
I won't go on about it because to be honest it's kind of boring, and also because I refuse to recognise people who advertise the spelling of my name with an 'e' on the end. But while I was watching, this commercial for the new season of Kendra came on and I got all excited. Holy crap, you guys! There's going to be a new season of Kendra!! This is almost as good as the time I found out the E! camera crew had been invited to Khloe Kardashian's wedding. REALITY TV ROCKS MY FREAKING CLOCK!
I know I've said this before, but I really do think I should have my own reality show. Not because I'm famous or rich or popular or interesting - because let's face it, I'm not really any of those things - only so I'd have some kind of income while I'm looking for a real job. And speaking of real jobs, would anyone like to hire me? Would you? Would you? I'll do anything! Anything that doesn't involve food or coffee or old people or formal dress codes or cleaning or having to be quiet all the time or being sent on long missions that involve driving across town getting stuck in traffic and ending up sunburnt all down the right side of my body.