Monday, April 20, 2009

I'm FLIPPING OUT!!!

And I'll tell you why:
My toothbrush, which is pink and awesome and vibrates (haha, dirty) is RUNNING OUT OF BATTERY.
So now, it hardly vibrates at all.
It sucks. It SUCKS!! What's the point in having a vibrating toothbrush if it doesn't VIBRATE?
Haha. This sounds dirty I know, so let me tell you, I like the vibrating sensation IN MY MOUTH!! Because it aids in the cleaning of my teeth.
That's the only reason I like it.
The vibrating, I mean.
Geez, is there another word for vibrating? I feel like I've typed it a dillion times already.

Anyway so you're probably thinking "You idiot, if your toothbrush is running out of battery, why don't you quit blogging about it, drive up to Coles, and buy some new batteries? And stop whining like a little bitch!!"
WELL I'LL JUST TELL YOU WHY I DON'T!!!
  1. Because, on account of my laziness, I'm still on my L's, so I would have to find someone on their full license to accompany me, and there is no way that's going to happen because its almost 11pm, and;
  2. Because I LIKE blogging, and;
  3. Because my family has this weird thing with batteries
That's it. I don't have a reason not whine like a little bitch. I just love to do that.
Ok let me explain the weird battery family issue.
My family is LOUSY with batteries. I mean it. We NEVER have batteries. And we never buy any, because we're all disgusting lazy slobs.
Like, ok, in the upstairs lounge room we have 3 remotes: one for the TV, one for the foxtel, and one for the DVD player.
The TV remote takes AAA's, and the other two both take AA's.
So. One day, the DVD remote batteries ran out. And INSTEAD of doing the normal thing, and running out to buy some new batteries, we decide to just use the batteries from the foxtel remote. So now we can use the DVD remote. And when we need to use the foxtel remote again, we'll just switch them back.
It'll be fine.
It wont be annoying.
It wont be that long until someone buys some new batteries.
Hahaha, NO!
Remember the beginning of the story? "One day, the DVD remote batteries ran out..."
One day?
ONE DAY?
THAT DAY WAS LIKE 2 YEARS AGO!!
I've been switching batteries between the remotes EVERY TIME I NEED TO USE THE DVD PLAYER FOR 2 YEARS!!
No wonder I'm crazy.
I'm not just crazy - I'M FLIPPING OUT!!

Speaking of flipping out, have you guys ever watched that TV show, Flipping Out?
It's awesome.
It's about this guy who buys crappy houses, does them up all nice and fancy, and then sells them for heaps of money. He 'flips' houses. He's 'flipping out'.
Get it?
Anyway I don't know what the guys name is, but he's totally crazy. Like, really psycho. This is my favourite line from the show:

Guy: Do I hear kids? Screaming kids? Are we near a school? The selling price just went down 50 grand.

Hahaha. I love it.
Well done, crazy guy from Flipping Out.
If you a reading this, which, lets face it, we all know you are.

Well done.

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