Tuesday, November 18, 2008

my mother the evil genius

so sometimes i do this thing, where my sister is sitting upstairs watching tv or reading or whatever, and im bored, so i invent some mindless prank to play on her - like pretending the cat has escaped onto the roof, or telling her that she left her dinner to reheat in the oven for too long and the kitchen is now on fire - and usually rope my mum in with me.

the thing is, my mum never seemed that interested in sending her first-born into a frenzy.
that is, until last night...

mum: Did Catherine call Meadowmist to book the animals in when we go to Lord Howe?
jacki: No! Even though she promised she would! can we tell her that because she forgot she's in big trouble?
mum: I know! Lets tell her that because she forgot to book them in, they lost their spot, and now she either has to find another kennel for them to stay in, or she has to stay home and look after them while the rest of us go to Lord Howe (laughs)
jacki: That genius! You know she also forgot to hang the washing out...
mum: Oh, thats easy. We'll tell her that I had to put the clothes in the dryer when I got home instead, and now she has to pay the whole months electricity bill.
jacki: (Shocked and impressed) Wow. Mum. I'm..shocked! And...Impressed!!

only - unfortunately for me - it turns out that my mum is capable of being equally evil towards both of her daughters...

jacki: (Clearly overjoyed at the prospect of torturing catherine) Hey, Chate, Mum says that your dinner is in the fridge, and she needs you to drive her to work tomorrow, oh and also because you forgot to book the animals into Meadowmist, you either have to find another kennel or stay home and look after them while the rest of us go to Lord Howe.
catherine: What?! I told Dad to book the animals in! He told me he did it!
jacki: (Momentarily stumped) Well...um...Mum says that he didn't do it, and its all your fault! Oh and she also said that because you didn't put the washing out, you have to pay this months electricity bill.
catherine: What the hell?
jacki: Because she had to use the dryer instead
catherine: Mum!?
mum: Yes?
catherine: I told Dad to book the animals in! And he told me he did it!
mum: Oh, thats ok then.
catherine: And the washing was dry, so I didnt think I needed to hang it out!!
mum: It so wasnt dry!
catherine: Well, do I really have to pay the electricity bill?!
mum: What? No!
catherine: But Jacki said...
mum: I don't know what you're talking about.
jacki: (Attempting to mouth 'The Plan! The Plan!!!' to Mum from behind Catherine's back)
catherine: (Turns around and see's me) Aha! This is just another one of your stupid tricks!! I knew it!!
jacki: No!! This time it was all Mum's idea, I SWEAR!!
mum: (Looking innocent) I have no idea what she's talking about
catherine: Jacki, you suck!!!

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