So here goes.
This next post is all about me. Me.
Me me. Get it?
Four jobs I’ve had:
- Sales assistant at Bakers Delight. Ok I was like 14. Give me a break. Everyone wants to work at Bakers Delight when they're 14. And if you didnt, then you're a dickhead. And you're lying. I cant decide what the worst part of this job was - getting up at 5am on Saturday mornings to open the shop, getting severe burns from whatever industrial-strength cleaner they make me scrub the ovens with, or getting paid less than those kids who cycle around third world countries collecting coke cans. It was only made bearable by the free food and the fact that when people asked me what my job was, I got to tell them I was 'a delightful baker'.
- Pamphlet Deliverer. Which I actually did twice - once when I was young and innocent and unsuspecting and didnt know how heinous it would be, and then again when I was older and dumber and desperately seeking cash.
- Beauty Salon Receptionist. Slash babysitter for the boss's 6 year old twins. Slash emotional punching bag for Andrea, the 60-something-well-possibly-older-possibly-younger-you-cant-really-tell-on-account-of-the-fact-that-shes-had-so-much-plastic-surgery sales assistant.
- Sales Assistant at Blue Illusion. I would say more but I still work here, and there's the danger that my boss will (somehow) find this, read it, and fire my sorry ass.
- Dirty Dancing.
- Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion. At my 10 year reunion I'm going to tell everyone I invented post-its.
- Moulin Rouge. Because I know all the words to every song and immensly enjoy singing them as loud as I can and slowly killing the neighbours. Also I love to watch it with people I've just met and pretend that since Nicole Kidman used to live in my house, she comes over all the time and we watch it together.
- The Wedding Singer. I belong in this movie.
- Greenwich. My parents were still building the house when my older sister was born, and I love reminding her that for the first few weeks of her life, she slept in a dusty hallway.
- Ok, this one time when I was mad at my mum and sister I built a shack out of boogieboards next to our pool and sat in it for 45 minutes.
- Prison Break. Hello, Wentworth.
- Bones. I feel like I'm getting smarter each time I watch it.
- Home and Away.
- Beauty and The Geek. Just. Just. Its brilliant.
- Lord Howe Island
- Monkey Mia. Yeah, theres a place called Monkey Mia. Suck it, bitches.
- Sushi. Except for this one time that I tried to make it at home, except we didnt have all the ingredients...or those wooden-rolling-thingies. Actually pretty much all I did was boil rice.
- Mint chocolate chip icecream. Also Wentworth's favourite dessert, which I guess means we'll be having it at our wedding. I mean lets face it, wedding cakes usually taste like crap anyway. Fruit cake? Thats gotta be an oxymoron.
- Special K. Especially the kind with the freeze-dried berries in it. You would think anything thats been freeze-dried would be totally gross, but this just works.
- Hotmail. Self-explanatory. Unless you're 100 and dont know what hotmail is.
- Sidereel.com. Prompting my Dad to ask "Why do you sit in front of the computer and watch TV on a tiny 2 by 4 inch screen, when you could be using the brand new LCD flat screen we bought?" Whatever, Dad. You just dont get it.
- Imdb.com. For my daily dosage of stalking.
- Perezhilton.com. Because I'm too cheap to actually buy trash magazines.
- You know what instead of answering this question I'm going to ponder why every answer had to be in sets of four? Seriously? Who wrote this thing? Did they have some OCD, connected with the number four? I saw this Bones episode once where there was a writer who had an OCD and had to do everything in lots of 13, and everyone thought he was the killer because, hello, OCD, crazy person, killer, but it turned out to be his mother, who also had the OCD-Number-13 thing, and ended up chopping off her sons head and hiding it under a birdbath in the backyard, and the only reason they figured it out was that there wasnt 13 birdbaths, there was only one. What was I talking about again?