Friday, November 14, 2008

fear factor # 1

Right. Ok.
Alot of people have this thing where they think I'm crazy because I have all these "unjustified" fear and theories.
I mean, I'll admit sometimes (sometimes) it can get a little far fetched.
My fear of rubber gloves.
My inability to drive if there is even ONE other car on the road.
That theory I had that all history teachers were trying to kill me.


This is one fear that I can TOTALLY justify.
So, boys and girls.
Get ready for the explanation as to...

why I'm afraid to swim in a pool by myself
See, here's the thing...
Anyone who knows me, I mean really knows me, knows that when I was 10 years old, I found a book in my local library about a prehistoric 60 foot long man eating shark which somehow survived whatever-it-was that killed all the other dinosaurs, by going way way WAY deep into the ocean.
Now its present day, and some professor dude takes his mini submarine or whatever down into some trench in the sea, sees one of these sharks - which are called Megalodons by the way - and, long story short, it follows him back to the top of the ocean, where it proceeds to wreak havoc.
Attacking surfers.
Swallowing small boats.
Launching itself out of the ocean at top speed so it can take down low-flying helicopters.
You know.
Anyway, despite the fact that it was clearly not a book for kids, I found it entertaining as hell, much to the distress of my mother, but whats new?
I was just congratulating myself on discovering such a great read, when I turned to the last page, which contained a small but detailed paragraph on the history of the Megalodon, and the debate over whether or not it actually still exists.
Wait a minute.
This thing was REAL?
Or more importantly, this thing actually DID survive whatever-it-was that killed the dinosaurs, HAS swum to the top of the ocean, and is potentially circling some poor guy in a kayak on the Lane Cove River as we speak?
As if that wouldn't freak out ANYONE (let alone a 10 year old with a tendency to blow things wildly out of proportion) enough to stop them from swimming alone.
PLUS theres that whole other theory I have that there is a secret shark-holding chamber under my backyard, and some Ivan-Milat-Wannabe is just waiting for me to take a solo dip, so he can hit some button and release a Great White into the pool.
I mean, come on!
I've TOTALLY heard of that kind of thing happening.
Honestly, between this book about Megalodons and that Harrison Ford movie 'What Lies Beneath', its a wonder I can even take a bath, let alone swim in my pool.
So there.
I hope it makes sense now.
Oh, what am I saying?? OF COURSE it makes sense now.

No comments: