This is Nala hiding from Oscar in my pantry

Nala again again again

Nala again again

Nala again

Nala my kitten

aaaaah good times

Mmmm holidays are oh-so-fun

today was yeehaa (this is my new word for fun) me, ali and krobi went to westfield and bummed around, gemma was going to come but she bailed after ringing up on alecambuls foneyfonefone and asking me why i wasnt at gym coz i SO cood not be bothered to go

so anywayz, then we went to targey and had sum lollies and found the COOLEST CARD IN THE WORLD which was one of those ones that sings when you open it
so it was for Congratulations You've Had A Baby Boy, and yes yes guess what? when you open it it sings (in the coolest voice):
"Isnt it lovely? Isnt it wonderful? Isnt it lovely? Isnt it wonderful?"
AND if that isnt xciting enough for you, THEN we went and tried on all the cool shoes, and then we ran away from krob coz she was chasing us with the crazy card

so when we ran away we ended up in this place with all the bikes n stuff and a SWINGING CHAIR which we swinged on YES YES YES aaaand then we played with some bouncy balls and then i rode this random bike, and then we found some skateboards and rode up and down target in them

so then we had to go toily, so we went toily and then bought some food and then bought an icecream and then went to the chase and looked in TightRope

AND THIS IS THE MOST XCITING BIT SO LISTEN UP UP UP!!!!
so then we went to Kmart just to look around and WE FOUND THE DVD OF ONCE UPON A FOREST WHICH IS THE BEST MOVIE IN THE WORLD ONLY LIKE NO ONE HAS HEARD OF IT AND ME ALI AND KIERA ALL SAW IT WHEN WE WERE LITTLE AND WE LOVE IT SO SO SO MUCH!!!

and then we found these TOTALLY cool slippers and krob got some purple ones and i got some pink ones and ali is going to get some white ones, and then we r going to swap one each so we have different coloured ones, AND then we r going to have the ONCE UPON A FOREST DVD PARTY and wear them!!!

so then Krob had to go, so me and ali went back to target and played with the card again and then played the car-seat game where you sit in the BabyCarSeat and fall backwards and then this lady came and yelled at us

AND THAT IS THE END OF MY DAY i think it has been the best day so far in my holidays it was so totally yeehaa

mmmmmm, steak

yes yes yes
blogs are so weird

ahahaha

I just discovered the coolest phrase in the world
maybe even better than Gristle
ok ok ok

ahahhaha
ahahahhahahahha
ahahahahahhahahahha
i cant stop laughing

buttock-cranium
aahhahaha
ahahahahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahhaa

get it?
ahahahaha

its like butt-skull, except BETTER

ahahahahahhaha

AS you may have heard on a recent blog of mine, my ears have yet again become subject to a phrase which they do not understand...

which is completely NOT uncommon, but i dont care

poooooooooooooooooo and weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
ahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah toiily toily toiyly toitrehksdHfkljsagfl iuSGDFVLSGDFILUsfedlgsdfkjsgfiuWEGF DUHFKShdf

eh hem, now back to what i was saying...

when we were at the beach, i put sunblock on AND then i realised that my shouldies were looking a little, hmmm, sunkissed shall we say?

and julia noticed as well
so julia goes 'my gollygollygoodness, your shouldies are looking a little roasteeded'
and so i goes 'butty, iven putten thine sunblocken onnen!'
and so julia goes 'oh my. thine sunblocken only workens iffy you put somethingy on over ity, youen silly pork!'

ok

WHAT!!! WHY DIDNT ANYONE TELL ME THIS?! STUPID SUNBLOCK!! HERES ME THINKING I CAN PUT SUNBLOCK ON AND BE PROTECTED FROM THE HARSHY RAYS OF THE SUN, BUT OOOOOOOOOOOOH NOOOOOOOOOOOOO IT TURNS OUT THE SUNBLOCK HAS TO GO AND MAKE ITSELF NOT WORK UNLESS YOU PUT SOMETHING OVER IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

which completely defeats the purpose if you ask me

so anyway, i didnt hear this from SunblockSam (aka Julia) until AFTER i had been lying in the warmy sun sun sun, so now my entire back is burnt, while my front is not

AND i have those annoying 'strap marks' LaurenLaurenLauren was talking about

has anyone seen that episode of friends when ross tries to get a fake tan and he accidentally gets FakeTanSprayed eight times, all on the front??

chichichi CHA

Wow

wow

wow

I am sunburnt
ahaha well it was bound to happen EVEN THOUGH I PUT SUNBLOCK ON

i am so confused
Julia said to me at the beach 'sunblock doesnt help'
i says to julia i says 'then why did i put it on?'
she says 'it only works if you put it on and then put something on over it...

WHAT???!!!!!

im going to make something of this

Gristle is the coolest word in the world

ive invented a word people!!!!

ok ok ok ok ok so u know the word kankle? how its like when the bottom-leggy-bit just goes straight into the foot? well i noticed that this can also happen with the bottom-army-bit, and it just goes straight into the hand...

so, based on the word kankle, i have invented another word for this 'body part'

well, the last bit of kankle is 'ankle' which is the bit that is missing, so the last part of my word has to be 'wrist'...

but where do i get the first letter from? i dont know where the 'k' in kankle comes from...

DAMMIT ITS SO CONFUSING!!!
um um um
um
um um

so, well i guess i should get a group of all the letter that you can put in front of the word wrist without it sounding completely retarded

wait, maybe i want it to sound retarded, i mean kankle sounds pretty retarded...

NO!!! SHUT UP BRAIN!!!
ok lets see....
a, yes that works
e
g

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i so cant be bothered to do this, ok im going to choose a letter from random

how aaaaabbbboooouuuuuttttt....................g?
ok gggggggggggg yes yes yes that is indeedy coollieo

gwrist....mmm that doesnt look gross enough....

grist....mmmm

gristle...PERFECT!!!

ok ok ok gristle is the new word for when your bottom-army-bit just goes straight into your hand


GRISTLE

read me

I have just come across some important and interesting translations
im sure they will come in handy

eu acredito que você tem molhado seus pantaloons - I believe you have wet your pantaloons(portuguese)

Tamagotchis oscilará siempre nuestros mundos!!! - Tamagotchis will always rock our worlds!!!(spanish)

Κανένα μέλι, εσείς poo στην τουαλέτα - No honey, you poo in the toilet (greek)

genera l'asino!!! - Mothers ass!!! (italian)

Aaah, этот соус фасоли шевелит в моих кишечниках - Aaah, this beans sauce is stirring in my bowels (russian)

Bitte setzen Sie nicht Ihren Kleberstock innen dort - Please do not put your glue stick in there (german)

You're un sac de merde - You're a bag of crap (french)

googookachoo

i am a HappyCamper
even tho i havent been doing any camping...thats not the point


actually i dont think i have a point

haha, oh wait, i never have a point

holidays are oh-so-fun
yes yes yes today i went to greet the Noumeans on their arrival

they all looked relatively sane, though the prospect of seeing me after a three hour plane trip seemed to bring a frightened look to some peoples faces

funny how that keeps happening


i am getting my cat tomorrow aalalalalalalalalala be excited for me

cookamunga

Yuk

I am so totally scarred for life

In history we are watchin this random old movie we have watched it over two lessons ok so here is what happened in LESSON NUMBER ONE:

missmunday: hey hey girls we are watchin a video today.
jacki: is it boring?
julia: whats the movie miss munday?
missmunday: view from a window, it is a spectacular entertainment factor girls, you will love it
(the movie begins)
jacki: (yawn) jess can i play with your watch?
jess: (shakes head)
(in the movie there is a character played by maggie smith and she comes onto the screen)
jacki: (screaming) oh mi gosh, its professor magonagal!!!!
missmunday: quiet jacki
juliaandjess: shh its maggie smith she is a wonderful actress
jacki: she has less wrinkles in this movie than harry potter
missmunday: quiet jacki
jess: dont make fun of her she is really good
jacki: i was only commenting
missmunday: quiet jacki
(later in the movie this guy kisses this girl)
jacki: (laughing) ha! hes like raping her
julia: (gives me dissaproving look)
missmunday: quiet jacki

yes well it pretty much continued like that until TODAY when my eyes were soiled because of the

HARD CORE NUDITY scenes in the movie (i bet missmunday just put them in there to scar me)
there was three old men running around naked, slapping each others bottoms (JULIA I AM SO NOT EXAGGERATING I DONT CARE THIS IS WHAT I SAW IF YOU DIDNT SEE IT YOU MUST JUST HAVE EYE FILTERS) and you saw everything

i think i need to go throw up now just the thought of it makes me shudder

(shudder)

(shudder)

(shudder)

so not

Ok, so apparently our group is falling apart

I so do not see this

is it that:

A) I am just so unco in the social world of bitching and fights that our group is basically hanging by a thread and i didnt even notice any changes, as I was laughing the whole time and agrivating everyone so much because they thought i was so stupid not to notice, thus my forcing the group into even worse circumstances, without even realising it?

or

B) Our group is fine just a few people have, what do you people call it? oh yes, PNS or whatever, and arent exactly best friends at the moment, and so you all just made it up so you would have something to talk about without telling me, which of course got all of you a good laugh, but just left me in utter confusion?

BY THE WAY i so do not have a problem with people not telling me stuf, i mean if i was you i sure as hell wouldnt i mean, come on, its me we're talking about


meanwhile, i need to do a weewee

ciao

tony tooth

ARRRRRGGGHHH THERE IS SOMETHING STUCK IN MY BRACES AND I CANT GET IT OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(IM NOT EVEN SURE IT IS FOOD)

who wants to come help me get it out? ;)

my sister is being a butt-face

So im sitting here doing nothing, reading peoples blogs, whatever

when i realise i have this totally huge geography test tomorrow with Stoner, who already totally hates me (i have no idea why, my being a totally angelic angel and all) and who is going to hate me even more if i bomb out on this test

which I, quite conveniently have forgotten about until the last minute (this seems to happen alot).

So I look at my option thoughts.

So my first option thoughts are: just study tonight, cram, and it will all be ok

So my second option thoughts are: what am i TALKING about????!!! THERES NO WAY I CAN DO WELL IN THIS TEST NOW, OH BOTTOM BOTTOM BOTTOM

So my third option thoughts are: geo test tommorrow eh??.......meh

can you guess which one i picked?

















(the third ones, duh)

Weird Words#3 - extraordinary

Ok, can I just say something about the word extraordinary?

ITS TOTALLY RETARDED!!!!
so heres the meaning:
Extraordinary: 1) beyond what is ordinary or usual
2) highly exeptional, remarkable

The first thing I noticed about the word was that you can divide it into two other words: Extra and Ordinary.

So, we all know that if something is Extra something, it is like especially that thing...like, if someone was Extra Annoying, then they are especially annoying, compared to everyone else...

get it?
and ordinary, is like, plain, boring, usual, common, whatever right??

so if something is extra-ordinary then that must mean it is especially plain, boring, usual and common, right???

SO WHY IS SOMETHING THAT IS EXTRAORDINARY SOMETHING THAT IS REMARKABLE, HIGHLY EXEPTIONAL, BEYOND WHAT IS ORDINARY, YADDA YADDA YADDA????????????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DIDNT ANYONE ELSE NOTICE THIS???? I FEEL LIKE IM GOING CRAZY HERE!!!!!!!




oh, wait....thats normal


carry on

This is what happened when I attempted to cook for my D of E skill (shudder)

The CheddarPops album cover

Gym Junkie

Gym is oh-so-fun these days
the most recent one went like this:

I walked down to the hall with Jessie-Bear, and then she realised she didnt have rowing, so she like, dissapeared off into the distance or something, and then i found Tegan, and we went looking for Anna, but we only got as far as the Clock Tower Thingy and i fell over (this happens alot)

And so then I just lay down on the ground, and Tegan was all 'lets go find anna' and i said id only go if she gave me a piggy-back, and well that wasnt going to happen, and then Suprise Suprise, out of nowhere comes Jess.

so me and tegan are sitting on the ground (well, Tegan was sitting, i was kind of in a demented jumbled heap) and then anna comes out and says she is too tired to go to gym, and she is going to call her mum to go home. and me and tegan are like NO and jess is like, Im Going Home, and we're like wateva, and then to stop anna leaving me and tegan tried to steal her bag and string it thru one of the basketball hoops, and we got the stealing part down, trouble is neither of us was tall enough to reach the basketball hoop.

So then Anna comes onto the basket ball hoop and she took her bag back and showed us some of the cabbage stuff she made in science (puke) and then she rang her mum and said she was going home.

so then we went and sat on the lawn, and that cat came across the road (you know the fat one that the librarian kicked)
and me and anna were like tegan go get the cat and tegans like no and where like go and shes like ok and so she goes and starts patting the Scary Cat.

so then tegans friend comes over and says the cats name is oscar
and then she left, and i went over to pat the cat with tegan, and we were laughing because its back like, throbbed every time we patted it (try it youll see) and then i realised, how could a boy cat be pregnant? because oscar is a boys name.

so then it was time for gym, and we said goodbye to anna and went inside

by this time me and tegan were on a full high, so we got these blue ribbon things, and tied them around ourselves, and gave one to Little Jackie and yelled out GO BLUE TEAM until ann screamed at us to take them off.

and walley was being The Gym Natzi, so she made us do all this excersise, so me and tegan just did it REALLY slowly (by this time, i was the only remaining member of the blue team)
and then we decided to make
A FAMILY TREE!!!!!!!

I was Tegans mother, and Little Jackie was Tegans father, and walley was my mother, and tegan was married to walley
even though it was slightly wrong, it was totally fun and i couldnt stop laughing (nothing weird there) and then started telling all these lame jokes, which i thought were extremely funny, but no one else did (nothing weird there either)

then it was time to make up the floor routine for the SPECIAL PRESENTATION NIGHT!!! yes thats right, and the music is from the lion king and we all have to pretend to be hyenas
and we have to do the same thing on beam

it is very scary
anyway, so then ann came over and commented that i was being weird, and walleys like, weirder than what? and that made me have another laughing fit, and then ann gave me this disgusted look, and i was like WHATEVER and then walleys like, do something so i walked away and tried to look all proffessional and then I tripped over the floor

how embarrasment

go go go go go go go

I just found the best site in the entire universe

Wee.com

totally excellent, i reccomend a visit

Secret Identities (cough COUGH miss munday)

OH MY GOSH
i have just discovered something very important
get ready

MISS
MUNDAY
HAS
THE
SAME
STICKY TAPE
DISPENSER
AS
ME!

yes, I know. true, but very disturbing. this could mean that miss munday and i are...dare i say it?

related?
i mean, could she be like, my secret uncle or something?
mmm, lets see

Uncle Miss Munday...that has a nice ring to it.

but shhhh because she might not want anyone to know she is related to me



its a growing problem

School You-Knee-Form

Just reading beths blog now and the argument about school uniform
first of all, we must solve jess's problem
second of all, i shouldnt have written first of all, because thats all im going to do.

BUT ANYWAY
jess, with the hole sox thing..is it that you actually think people who wear their sox up r (giggle) dare i say it..(giggle) SLUTS or r u just embarrased because of the name label your mum sewed onto the top of your socks (if that was the case, i think i just made it around 76 times worse...sorry giggle giggle)

BECAUSE if you are just embarrased about the whole label thing, i have devised a plan

all you have to do is get some money, and buy some socks and smuggle them into your house, hide them in the back of your draw, then put them on in the morning...this is how it will go

Jess: (walks out in Operation One Special Socks) Hello dearest mother
Mrs Jess's Mum: Hello dearest daughter. How be you this sparkling morn?
Jess: I am well, dearest mother...
Mrs Jess's Mum: I am joyous to hear of that. Now off to schoolio within yine
Jess: Of course, dearest mother...

(JESS WALKS OUT THE DOOR IN HER BRAND NEW NON-LABELED SOCKS, WHICH ARE PULLED UP)

of course, if it doesnt work, there may be consequences....

Jess: (walks out in Operation One Special Socks) Hi mum
Mrs Jess's Mum: (narrowing eyes) JESSICA ANN MORTON...are those your usual socks?
Jess: (sweating nervously) um...
Mrs Jess's Mum: GIVE ME THOSE (tears the socks off jess's feet, then runs into her bedroom and finds all the other socks, and stuffs them into the fire place, then turns around to stab jess with a lamb fork, but fortunately, Bates runs through the door and rescues his Fair Maiden)

Now, Jess, im not saying the bad one will be exactly like this.....



i mean, Bates might not come

...

It really is extrodinary how many teachers i managed to piss off each day

i bet they're just jelous of my rugged good looks






or not, i guess

Lorrie and the CheddarPops

As usual, me Krob and Lorry had to find some way to survive science today....

SO WE MADE A TOTALLY KIK-IN-THE-BOTTOM BAND BABY YEH!!
it started with me and krob singing, then lorry joined our somewhat not harmonising harmony, and thats when it all began...
THE PHENOMONON THAT IS....LORRIE AND THE CHEDDARPOPS

ok so at first Julia was our band manager, but she has some weirdo erotical obsession (jj) with the triangle, and we were like oh hell no, and now hermi is our manager

and first it was andre boccelli and the losers
then jacki and the losers
then lorri and the iams
then lorri and the ifeyes

AND NOW WE HAVE OUR NAME

so then we started to sing timeless classics, such as Catch a Falling Star, and Cheer Up Charlie, and we got all these pissed-off glances from like everyone else in the room

LAUREN AND JULIA IN PARTICULAR
but thats prob just coz they wanna be in our band so bad (LOL)

and yes yes yes that is my amazing story

zuccini

So the day goes something like this:

Maths: Classroom full of students + mrs wilsons enourmous hair = smothered children


Science: pembos quiz suggestion + half of us running out the back door = pembo explodes


Civics: Beth + Jacki = Huge gets pissed

Geography: stoner + jacki hasnt done her homework for basically a semester = violent murder

drama: not bad

english: lord of the flies???? u get the picture

Suzie Highpants

I just realised i forgot to talk about Suzie Highpants

let me explain...

when we were at the gym comp, and we were waiting for vault, i looked over to floor, and there she was...suzie highpants
bom bom booooom
this girl with really long hair was practicly defying gravity with her bike pants.
As Spud said....
"whats the point in wearing pants if your gonna have them up that high?!"

But, if thats the way suzie wants to wear her pants, THEN THAT IS HOW SHE SHALL WEAR THY PANTALOONS, NOW DAMN IT!!!

shake it suzie...shake it like a polaroid picture

(who is wearing its pants up REALLY high)

poo and wee

well well well
friday was completely weird, i had so much stuff in my bag that i coodnt possibly fit any more in, so now i have all this homework due tomoz that i cant do but i dont really care, my teachers can just DEAL WITH IT
i am in a very weird mood today i woke up at 6 and had calamari YES CALAMARI PEOPLE OH YES YES YES AND IT WAS OH SO GOOD
i was reading beths blog just now and laughing about her comments on laura
oh so amusing, yes yes yes it is true i think laura hates us, but i really dont mind because i like the colour of her nail polish

ahaha the gym comp was totally hilarious, walley was judging me on beam, and after i dismounted i did The Crazy Dance instead of presenting, and she got all pissy. aah walley looks so funny when she is pissy, and i started laughing which made her even more pissy, which looked even more funny, which made me laugh more, which made her even more pissy - i think you get the picture

then, on my second vault i did a front sumi instead of a handspring flat back and couldnt stop laughing it was very hilarious
but i totally blame this on st catherines since they dont have a vault mat, so u have to run on the floor, and it like jarrs your ankles, so i am going to go back there in the night and cut up their floor with an axe, just to prove

THEY CANT BRING ME DOWN DAMN IT!!!

Daily Brain Teaster

Today's Daily Brain Teaser

Cannibal here I come

I've just had a thought...
Maybe this is just me, but I find it extremely amusing to make jokes about things that arent really funny at all.

Like cannabalism (is that how you spell it?)
I just find that whole thing really amusing...and im sure you will to after you have read my SUPER HILARIOUS EXTREMELY AMUSING JOKES ABOUT THINGS THAT ARENT FUNNY...IN THIS CASE CANNABALISM!!!! (is that how you spell it?)

Ok, so there was a family of cannibals, a mum, a dad and two sons. One day, the sons and the dad go hunting, and they find the most beautiful woman in the world. The dad says to his sons 'come on, lets catch her' and the sons say 'no dad, we cant eat her, she is the most beautiful woman in the world'. The dad gives his sons a funny look and says, no sons, we're not going to eat her, we're going to take her home and eat your mother.

AHHAHAHAHAH i dont really get this joke, i just think the whole we're-going-to-eat-your-mother thing is amusing.

What does a cannibal call a phone book? A MENU!!!
BA-DOOM-CHA!!!!


and if your not laughing at these, then i suggest you take a train-trip to one of the other blog-links i have on my blog, as these are much more MATURE and you would probably benefit from them more.


I dont care, ill just stay here and laugh by myself.

Julias Testimony

Hey Krobi-Poo
Julia says Lauren stole the trangie thing

BTW can someone plz help me i dont know how to say that word
Is is trannia?
Trangia?
Terangia?
Tarantula?
Tanagula?
Terrannia?
Tarangila?

SOMEONE PLEASE HELP OTHERWISE THE CONSEQUENCES COULD BE FATAL!!!!!

Who the hell are you??

I've just had a thought...
sometimes, there might be people coming onto my blog who dont know who (or what) I am...

and I cant really say I know myself, but I CAN type down everything I do know.


JACKI (me)
Jacki is crazy
Jacki like lots of things that no one else likes
Jacki will never grow up
Jacki laughs almost as much as she talks
Jacki makes lame jokes
Jacki copies other peoples good jokes
Jacki has E.I.S (Extreme Immature Syndrome)
Jacki is weird
Jacki tries to make people laugh all the time, and her jokes are so lame and she starts to laugh at herself and then people laugh, not at her joke, but at her
Jacki has to make everything into a joke before she can understand it
Jacki is being left behind in a 'childs world' according to beth, but she doesnt care
Jacki isnt very smart because she spends all her time laughing
Jacki has a large mouth because she spends all her time laughing
Jacki laughs at things that are funny
Jacki laughs at things that arent funny
Jacki is laughing right now
Jacki is confused by serious matters
Jacki gets left behind because everyone else is growing up
Jacki loves food
Jacki loves sitting next to Mel in Maths and playing with Beryl
Jacki loves sitting with Lauren in Science and asking her the answers
Jacki loves sitting with Beth in CCG and laughing at Huge
Jacki loves sitting with Sarah in English and complaining about Lord of the Flies
Jacki loves sitting with Hannah in CCH and laughing at Mitchy
Jacki loves sitting with Kiera in PD and annoying Kiera with her giggling
Jacki loves sitting with Julia in CS and sharing her Bible
Jacki loves sitting with Jess in History and distracting her
Jacki loves sitting with Gemma at recess
Jacki loves sitting with kc ANYTIME HA KC I COMMENTED ABOUT YOU
Jacki loves sitting with Sarah, Bubs and Anna at lunch when everyone else leaves.
JACKI IS CRAZY AND IMMATURE AND STUPID AND RANDOM AND MAKES A FOOL OF HERSELF BUT DOESNT CARE AND IS GOING TO RUN AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER NOW TO GET MORE ICECREAM.


well I hope that made you less confused



It made me more confused

oh well

Friendly Frank

I just noticed that like EVERYONE IN THE WHOLE WORLD (actually only two people) have been doing this thing on their blog where they talk about all their friends...AND I CANT BE BOTHERED TO.

The battle for bread

When I got out of the shower, i went downstairs to see wat my mum was cooking for dinner, and there were bread roles on the table YES PEOPLE THATS RIGHT, THATS RIGHT, BREAD ROLES, YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST!!! anyway, they were all the same, except this one that looked really good, like better than all the others. and im like, i bags that one, and wait, get this, my dad is like, no thats my bread role. AND SO IT IS, MY DAD AND I MUST BATTLE TO THE DEATH FOR OWNERSHIP OF THE BREAD ROLE...JUST LIKE ORLANDO BLOOM AND THAT RANDOM UGLY GUY FIGHT FOR OWNERSHIP OF HELEN IN THE MOVIE TROY... anyway, so cathe decided that she would be like a quiz-master person, and ask questions, and first one to five points wins... QUESTION ONE: what time is it? Dad: 6:05 (wrong) Jacki: 5:51 (right) QUESTION TWO: what is Grandma's safety program called? Dad: Safety Program (wrong) Jacki: Something Spot? (wrong) QUESTION THREE: what is on the back of the nutrigrain box? Dad: Pictures of nutrigran (wrong) Jacki: Pictures of sports people and like random words (half a point) QUESTION THREE: how many pictures are on top of the piano? Dad: five (wrong) Jacki: seven (right) QUESTION FOUR: what colours are the small kitchen tiles around the stove? Dad: rainbow (wrong) Jacki: orange, purple, yellow, turqoise (right) QUESTION FIVE: what vegetables are we having for dinner? Dad: corn...and, uh...(wrong) Jacki: snowpeas, beans and carrots (right) QUESTION SIX: how far did Jacki walk in total this weekend? Dad: 21.5 km (wrong) Jacki: 20.2 km (right) so yes yes yes, i got the bread role so haha dad i enjoyed it very much thankyou.

THAT DAMN RAVINE!!!!

OMIGOSH like we just got back from DofE i am completely DEAD i so dont think i am going to be able to compete on friday coz i have these completely MONSTROUS blisters on my feet, and i cant walk so i have to crawl everywhere, and although degrading for me, i can see how this is hilarious for the rest of my family... I guess it was kind of fun, despite the excercise, how wet it was, my only having one jumper, the blisters, the high mountains, everyone like killing themselves in that ravine, the mornings, my crappy dinner, mum like packing me 12 kgs of food alone, the smell of the toilets drifting downwind to our tent, our frost-bitten fingers, julias dehydration, the dissapearance of our super-shiny TranniaThingy, the missing pot, the crankiness, the cold, the heat, the rain, us turning into a tribe of savages and the whole not-having-a-mat-and-so-having-to-use-a-garbage-bag-instead thing.

Besides, the ppl hu didnt go are so totally NOT IN on the in-jokes, like how i am Simon ahahahahahaha

....wait i just had a thought...

that jokes really on me isnt it???

damn.

Its a cows eye

Hey i just heard that maybe we are dissecting an eye today or tommorrow in science
i have always lived doing that, ever since me and krob chased ali around with a mutilated chicken wing in year seven....



ahhhhh the memories are fond.

coolness and intuition

Ok, i was just reading Beths blog now and i noticed that she said she and mel left the bin game due to their coolness and intuition
which is all well and good, but
ISNT ANYONE GOING TO STAY IMMATURE WITH ME?
i mean, seriously...





its alot more fun

Im stuck in this old era

I just noticed that everyone seems to change except me....
My school friends have changed so much...actually i also just noticed how different my roseville friends are from my greenwich friends...like in yr 6 they were all like me, but now they are...
MATURE which of course is the complete opposite of me, and im getting left behind.
like when lexi brought lucy to our netball game this year, i hadnt seen her for ages, and so i was talking to her, and she said ohmigosh your still exactly the same.
which i guess i am...i still like to do all the stuff that they think is immature.


woah that is way to complicated for me...i think ill just stay the same thankyou very much.


besides, how are you supposed to have embarrasing moments if you spend all your time trying to look and act mature?

I hate stockings

I am really annoyed right now because i cant seem to get the colour of stockings right!
First I had nice normal grey ones right? Then after one wash they went all beige and stripey.
So then i bought some new ones, which turned out to be pink. Then i had purple. Then i had brown, and now i have a cross between like black and a chocolatey colour.
Oh well, in like a week and two days there will be no more stockings for meeeeeeeeeee....




well at least until next year

inspired by mel

Ok so i was just reading mels blog, and she did this thing on all her friends, and i decided to do something similar, except not really, i am just going to do my favourite foods.

frozen peas - ok now i know some of you will agree with me on this (like hannah) and yes yes yes it is totally yummy and NOT gross i mean, come on the only difference between this and normal peas is, normal peas have been in some water

frozen chips - not many people i know do this, but still, it is still yum, except they are kind of hard to swallow

spaghetti - who doesnt like this?

non-cooked maggie noodles - yes, i do know alot of people who do like this, but also alot of people who dont.

xplogos - THESE ARE POSSIBLY THE MOST YUMMIEST THINGS YOU CAN EAT OUT OF A TUB

calamari - ohhhhh yeh

tomato sauce - this is good by itself, and also on bread

YES YES YES SO DONT DELAY IN TRYING THESE FOR YOURSELF
though i doubt you will because most of them sound completely weird like me

Lay off spongy beff

Hey Beff, i just read your blog and NO WAY IS SPONGEBOB LAME
its is so not a sad show and i can totally relate to spongbob, since i live under the sea in a a pineapple house and my best friends are a mentally challenged pink starfish wearing board shorts and a grumpy squid-man with 8 legs.

Nightly Nude Run

Ok, so I've just got home from school, and I go upstairs to have a shower, but I go to the toilet first... so I'm naked on the toilet, and then I go to use some toilet paper...this is how the conversation goes: Jacki: (completely forgetting that I am butt-naked, I run out of the toilet and to the top of the stairs) Mum? MUM??? MU-U-UM??? Mum: (Very faintly from downstairs) Yes? Catherine: (Walks out of bedroom but does not see me yet) Why dont you just go downstairs and talk to her - WHAT THE HELL? Why are you naked? Mum: What do you want Jacki??? Jacki: (Running down the stairs) MUM!!!! Did you change the toilet paper? Mum: Why are you naked? Jacki: Just answer the question!!! Mum: Yes, I did Jacki: WHY??? That toilet paper was nice!!! Mum: I only got that one because it was on special. Catherine: (Vaguely attempting to sheild her eyes) Yeh, it was probably expensive. AT THIS POINT BOTH MUM AND CATHERINE WALK AWAY TO CONVERSE IN THE PRIVACY OF THE LAUNDRY...NOT FOR LONG. I, WANTING TO JOIN THE CONVERSATION, BUT REALISING THAT NEITHER MUM NOR CATHERINE SEEK THE PLEASURE OF MY NAKEEYNESS, RUN TO THE KITCHEN AND PUSH MY LEGS THROUGH THE BOTTOM OF A GARBAGE BAG, THEN CUT ARMHOLES AND WALK DOWN THE HALL, SEIZING A BELT AND TYING IT ON FOR EFFECT. Catherine: So, blah blah blah, oh not you again! Jacki: Yes, its me, and I want to be included. Mum: Jacki, put some pants on. Jacki: Fine ( I, noticing catherine is holding a pair of pyjama pants, grab them, and run down the hall, pulling off my garbage bag, and put the pyjama pants on instead.) THE END!!!! note: When I was naked, yes, i was covering the important bits up)

Im baaaaak

Well hot-dog...we have a weener

Yay get xcited somebody actually WON my scrambled word competition
yes yes yes it was CLARE
congratulations clare, you have won a lolly-pop and you will get it when i stop having no money :)

Tv Madness

Ok ok ok ok ok ok so THIS is very xciting, yes yes yes its time for jackis
GUIDE TO LIFE..............todays lesson is Best Tv Shows Of All Time
The OC, Will and Grace, Home&Away, Untalkative Bunny, Baywatch Hawaii, Beverly Hills 90210, Seventh Heaven, Sweet Valley High, That-Show-On-Channel-Two-With-The-Robot-Boy, The Weekenders, Thats So Raven, Jenny Jones, Maury Povich, Freaky Stories, Too-Sey-Qua, Everybody loves Raymond, 60 Seconds of Fame, Suprise Suprise, Wild Boys, Jackass, Newlyweds, The-Ashlee-Simpson-Show, Shortcuts, Dave the Barbarian, The Simple Life, Big Brother, Australian Idol, Survivor, Treasure Island.....
AND MANY MORE THAT I CANT REMEMBER AT THE MOMENT
stay tuned for another
GUIDE TO LIFE...........

Weird Words#2.....OC

Ok, now I might be wrong here, but I am just wondering why the OC is called the OC
I mean obviously wee all know that it stands for Orange County, but um, ex-ca-use me, is there anything orange about where they live???
NO
But I still love the OC more than any other show (yes yes yes its true, Home&Away is now second on the list of my favourite shows of all time)
And yes yes yes yes yes im so bored now
OHMIGOSH I JUST HAD A BREAKTHROUGH

Tick Tock

OMIGOSH DID YOU GUYS FORGET MY COMPETITION!!!???
The time is running short for my 'unscramble-the-word-for-a-fabulous-prize-yes-beth-thankyou-very-much-there-is-a-prize-i-will-have-you-know-young-lady' competition!!!!
And so far Casey is the only competitor, but she hasnt got it right, so I am very distressed...well not really because I mean, who really could be bothered???
So yes yes yes I am hot lets jump in the pool AND dont forget to enter the competition...

(just look for the rainbow post to enter)

Natural Bloggers Strike Back

Yes yes yes Beth I read your comment on natural bloggers and I sort of understand...I blog alot about embarrasing moments, because they happen to me alot...but does that make me natural??
I dont know...do you have to blog about relevant things to be a Natural Blogger...because if that is the case, then my hope is forever lost lol.

Kiera likes this one

Guess what?? Its that time of the week again...yes yes yes thats right...its time for another one of JACKIS EMBARRASING MOMENTS!!! (one posted every monday)
Ok, so I went to the movies with Julia and Kiera, and then Julias mummy picked us up, and you know that carpark on the like top floor bit?? And you can walk around the corner of the box office to get to it??? Well yes yes yes, she parked there....and it was summer, so I was wearing a skirt that was made of material that wasnt heavy...IT WAS LIGHT, OH YES, OH YES OH YES IT WAS LIGHT MATERIAL EASILY BLOWN UP BY THE WIND BUT THATS NOT ALL!!!!!
So yes yes yes you can guess guess guess what happened (well actually you probably cant because if this happened to anyone else they would probably die of shame and then there would be no one to tell the story of embarrasment, so it has never been told so you have never heard of it) so we were walking out the door into the carpark to get to the CAR and then we walked out the door and suprise suprise my skirt blew right up and now my bright pink (and ever-so-slightly see through undies were now visible to the whole world, BUT THATS NOT ALL....
The amusing part is that I didnt notice that my skirt had even blown up until we had walked halfway across the carpark.
ba-doom-cha!!

(and to all those people who are wondering if "the wind between your legs" really feels as good as they say, I am here to tell you..................yes, yes it does.

Walking Woes

Is that how you spell woes??? WHAT THE HELL ARE WOES???
That doesnt matter because my legs hurt so much because this morning my bus didnt stop for me so i had to walk 3km to get to the train station and then this afternoon i was waiting for my mummy to pik me up and she NEVER CAME so i called her and she said she had to take Cathe to the doctor and so I HAD TO WALK ALL THE WAY HOME, YES, YES THAT IS RIGHT I HAD TO WALK LIKE 6KM IN ONE DAY (MAYBE MORE IF YOU COUNT WALKING DOWN TO SCHOOL AND ALL THE WALKING I DO IN BETWEEN CLASSES I AM SO ENRAGED RIGHT NOW.



actually no, I so cant be bothered to be enraged right now, so I'll just be quietly fuming in the corner.




on second thoughts, I cant even be bothered to do that.
Screw this being angry thing, Im going to get some ice-cream.

Natural Bloggers

Ok, so Beth was telling me about how she blogs once, maybe twice, maybe thrice a day, and Im like, I blog like once a week and shes like, yeh, some people are Natural Bloggers.
What the...???

This is Katherine (our netball coach)

Haha this is my dogs bum

Oscar the dog

Weird Words#1.....Kankle

Ok, I've just had a thought....wot is with the word kankle, ok???
I mean, seriously. We all know what a kankle is, right? Well its like when you have no ankles becoz your legs are so like, fat, that your bottom-leggy-bit just goes straight into your foot...not a pretty site.
So the first thing I noticed about this word is that it has the word 'ankle' in it...WHY??? why should ankle be part of the word if it isnt even part of the body part....people who have kankles have NO ankles. If there's no ankle on the leg, there shouldn't be an ankle in the word...should there??
The second thing I noticed was that the bit in front of the 'ankle' bit was a 'k'. WHY??? There is no 'k' in fat...there is no 'k' in obese...there is no 'k' in overweight....I AM SO CONFUSED!!! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?????
Who invented the word kankle becoz whoever it was i am going to smack their bottom.

Sleeping Patterns of 14 and 15 year olds

THIS is fascinating
Julia is doing some maths thing on the computer next to me BTW
I have an xciting moment for all of you
ITS TIME TO.....PLAY THIS RANDOM GAME THAT I JUST MADE UP THEN!!!!
yayayayayayyayyyyy!!! time to get xcited. ok, I tell you the rules
THERE ARE NO RULES.....
IF YOU CAN UNSCRAMBLE THIS WORD AND PUT THE ANSWER YOU THINK IT IS IN A COMMENT UNDER THIS POST THEN YOU WILL WIN SOMETHING!!!!!!!
WOWOWOWOOWOW!!!!! GET READY!!!!!!!!!
HERE IS THE WORD....
smlaubcrne
GOOD LUCK

Peek-a-boo

I was watching the OC last tuesday and you know the bit when Marissa was getting changed and she goes to Ryan, no peeking???
I like threw myself at the TV and screamed PEEK AT ME RYAN
random salsa

Responsible Jess

Jump up and down for joy.
Are we, the bin-killing half of the group really responsible for its demise? no
I would explain why, but I so cant be bothered.
Take a note from procrastonater spice: dont do anything.
FOR ALL OF YOU 'JACKIS-MOST-EMBARRASING-MOMENTS-LOVERS' GUESS WHAT????
i had an embarrasing moment this morning...
it is coming....
soon....
if i can be bothered....

BETH IS RIGHT...kiera sucks

THIS IS A VERY IMPORTANT NOTICE!!!!!
I have to announce that Beth is right and Kiera is wrong in the argument that they had in CCG when Kiera said that BethAndLukes relationship was scary
BECAUSE IT SO TOTALLY IS NOT KIERA ARE YOU SO INCAPPABLE OF EMITING HUMAN EMOTIONS THAT YOU DONT BELIEVE IN TRUE LOVE???
well thats wot i think anyway

Home-Made G-String

This is VERY INTERESTING so listen up
I will TELL you how to make a home-made g-string
you need two things:
an old pair of undies
a large dumpster (bin) with a hook on the side.
now, this is another embarrasing story that has happened to me (note: ALL the stories on this blog are COMPLETELY and UTTERLY TRUE!!! I promise)
I was waiting for my bus, and there was like this dumpster so I decided to stand on the side of it, like just randomly. So I was wearing pants, and they got caught on this hook on the side of the dumpster and then when I tried to get off, I was left hanging in mid-air (like 1.5 m off the ground) and then my pants finally gave way, and ripped. So there was a big hole in the back of my pants BUT THATS NOT ALL.
My fabulous pink floral undies had ALSO become cought on the hook, and had ALSO ripped, but the tear was SO XTREME that it split the seams on my undies, so that only one side remained...that may be hard to understand so ill make it easier...
THE REMAINING SEAM SLID SIDEWAYS AND I WAS LEFT WITH A HOME-MADE G-STRING.
WOW!!!! Be amazed
All of you people out there remember
I BELIEVE IN YOU
you CAN make your own g-string and I am living proof that it IS POSSIBLE!!!!!
MORE EMBARRASING MOMENTS SOON!!!

Naked in the pool

Well just because I am so CRAZY I would like 2 tell you about my most embarrasing moments.
Ok one is when I was in year two, and we had to have swimming lessons at lane cove pool and then so ok, i was like ill do backstroke and so you know how you like sit on the wall??? I would draw a picture but I cant so like, yeh.
So anyway, im in year two so I was wearing a one-piece cozzi and I push of from the wall and the straps came off my arms and I shot back so fast that my cozzi flew off and I was left wading NAKED in the pool in front of the WHOLE YEAR!!! as you can tell it was very embarrasing but also strangely comfortable...
MORE EMBARRASING MOMENTS COMING SOON...(if i can be bothered)

The best of Poo and Wee

AS YOU KNOW i had a blog called the best of poo and wee, there is nothing on it and there never will be because i FORGOT THE PASSWORD. so there
anyway, so yes, i am about to go to fitness first how WONDERFUL and I am just thinking.....
what would it be like to live in a vacuum, so I asked an old wise geezer and he told me
life in a vacuum sucks
ba-doom-cha!!!
so yes i was also thinking, what will the reward be for Julia, Kiera and Lauren?
WE WILL NEVER KNOW
until they tell us...which will probably be in like 4 minutes
but oh well
yes so ta-ta-for-now

me being CRAZY

We can weeeeeeee...in our pants

hey everybody!!!!
this this this is a BLOG and it is CRAZY so saddle up your booties
Louis Vuitton bags r cool, people who buy fake ones (like me and Julia) are so NOT RESPECTABLE I am SO ashamed of them they should BUCK UP and BUY A REAL ONE like jessica simpson who has a real one and took it camping...
Do you like camping, but only because of the marshymellows??? ME TOO!!! So wot you do, is you put a mini-tent up in the backyard and cook marshymellows on a candle, like I DID!!!!

Until tommorrow my fellow musketeers when i shall teach many more valuable lessons about life
GET OUT OF MY SIGHT YOU FILTHY DISH-RAG
have a nice day :)