Thursday, March 11, 2010

We're All Supposed To Eat Each Other Anyway. Duh.

I've had a crappy day.

I think that since my birthday (yesterday) was so 100% legendary, the universe decided to even things out a little. Either that, or everyone I encountered in Lane Cove was just really pissed off. First off, I went to the library. Oh my gosh, the library. Am I the world's biggest dork? Well yeah. I think I'm also the only person left on the planet who actually borrows books from the library, since I was the only one in there. So you would think they'd be all excited to serve me and stuff, but no. Not only were they not excited to serve me, they seemed really annoyed that they had to. Like, they actively avoided serving me. And when they finally did, it was only to tell me that I hold a $43.00 fine at the Stanton in North Sydney, and have been banned from borrowing books at all Stanton-affiliated libraries.
Including Lane Cove.
Dammit! I was mad. I even said that to the lady. I'm like "Dammit! I'm mad! At myself, mainly! Whatever book this is that's costing me $43.00, I hope it was a good one."
Well, it wasn't. It was something on ancient Egypt that I'd borrowed way back in 2006 for a high school assignment. Conclusion: I am an idiot who borrows shitty books.


Then I wandered over to After-A-Fashion which is this great op shop that I used to make fun of when I was young and immature and didn't appreciate vintage clothing. Luckily all that has changed - apart from the immature thing - so I had a pretty good time, until I noticed this couple trying on shoes and staring at me. So obviously I got all freaked out, thinking there was something wrong with me or my face or my hair or my clothes - like, maybe my shorts had a huge rip in them but I couldn't see, or maybe my eyebrows had fallen off on the way in but I hadn't noticed...I even went into the change room to check myself out in the mirror just in case.


So what's up, Trying On Shoes Couple? What's the deal? I don't know, it was weird. Then on the way home I got run over by like 15 prams. Or, to be more accurate, 15 prams being pushed by insane mothers who were determined to commandire the entire footpath. Then when I got home, I thought my day was looking up because I was just in time to catch an episode of Ellen, only it turns out it was one of those rare boring episodes, where she interviews some B-list celebrity for like 5 seconds, then spends the rest of the show lecturing the audience on why they should all become vegans.
What? Why? I think it's because of that book about eating animals that everyone seems to be talking about. Who even wrote that book? Have they never seen The Lion King? It's called The Circle Of Life, baby. We're all supposed to eat each other anyway. Duh.

No comments: