Friday, April 16, 2010

And All Was Right With The World Again

Aaaaaah, life is good again. Again? I hear you ask.
Let me explain.

I don't know what I did to piss off the big guy upstairs, but last week was one of the shittiest weeks I have had for a long time. It was weird; usually my life is pretty shit-free. And not just because I suffer from chronic constipation. Ha! I joke, I joke. But seriously, I have a great life. You should be jealous of me. Or...whatever. But last week, it was literally like...I don't want to go off on too much of a tangent here, but imagine that someone took a giant dump, right in your face. And then they took a photo of your dumped-on face and posted it all over the internet. And then Wentworth Miller happened to see it, and immediately ruled you out as future-wife material. And then to top it all off, after you had cried yourself to sleep, your sister shaved your head and tattoed a picture of Voldemort onto the back of your skull. Can you imagine all that?
Last week, I was actually praying for something like that to happen to me - and it would have been the high point of my day.
It just seemed like everything was going wrong.
First of all, I was sick with a cold, which is apparently the only illness on Earth they haven't invented a cure for yet. I don't get it. 80-year-old dudes can still get hard, but there's nothing that'll fix a runny nose? Buck up, science! Then second of all, I got all psyched up for my driver's license test which my instructor FAILED to book for me. Also he is completely insane and for some reason thinks I should be able to drive, listen to him talk about airbags, read the road rules manual and anticipate the movement of every other driver on the road at the same time.
Oh yes. As you can imagine, lessons with him are extremely relaxing. Oh, and also, my own car decided to break down as I was driving to Coles.
THEN, as if my week wasn't bad enough, I got a phone call from my work saying that I was needed in Mosman, and would have to work there instead of Lane Cove for the next 8 weeks. No! First of all, Mosman? I'm the girl who just turned 20 and still laughs at fart jokes. I so do not fit in in Mosman. And also, can ANYONE picture me successfully navigating the morning traffic on Military Road?
I didn't think so.
So, yeah. I think that's it. Driving test (or lack there of), runny nose, broken car, having to work in Mosman. Crappy, crappy week.


Well, I got my car back today. And what else? A phone call from Jacinta (my boss) saying some girl had been fired (or maybe she quit, I'm not certain on the specifics) from Toni&Guy Lane Cove which means - HELLO - I get to come back to work there! And what ELSE? Well, so my nose is still running. And so I haven't done my driving test yet. Both facts were overshadowed by what was on TV at precisely 4.31pm this afternoon...
My life is complete. And all is right with the world again.

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