Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Why do these things always happen to me?!

Does anyone remember me blogging about my sister's room starting to smell, and all of us thinking that some poor animal had died in the crawl space above her bed? If not, you can read it here. If yes, well...I'll continue.
So yeah. Like 3 months ago, Catherine's room started to smell like crap. Not just regular crap, either. I'm talking dead-body-hidden-under-the-bed crap. It was so bad, I honestly might have suspected Catherine of being a closet serial killer and having a corpse stuffed in her undie draw, except for the fact that I was still alive, and we all know that if my sister is ever going to snap and murder anyone, it's going to be me.
The smell was horrendous, but because it seemed to be isolated to Catherine's room alone, I took it upon myself to make several (thousand) bad-smell jokes are her expense. And last week, it came back to bite me in the ass.
Oh, did it bite me in the ass. I don't think I've ever been bitten so hard - including the time I went snorkeling and a Neighbour fish mistook my toe for a piece of bread. Anyway, not the point. The point is, last week...
MY room started to smell.
Oh, great. At first I thought maybe I'd just accidentally left a sandwich in my room somewhere, and it was slowly decomposing. But alas, a thorough search revealed no sandwiches. Then I thought maybe the smell would go away if I turned the fan on and left the window open. Nope, that didn't work either, and when I woke up the next morning my legs were frozen together. Huh, what do you know, turns out it's winter!
Anyway when Mum noticed the smell (and the fact that I had begun sleeping in the guest bedroom), she called some pest-control guy, who came over at 730 in the morning (730. In the morning) and poked around the roof for an hour or so, only to reveal that yes, there certainly was a dead animal stuck in the crawl space, but it was in such a position that he couldn't possibly get in and remove it.
Basically, we just have to wait for the body to rot away completely. And until then, my room smells worse than an old man's asshole.
Ugh. Corpses suck!

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