Saturday, July 25, 2009

The Best Worst Movie EVER!!

Well, okay. Maybe that's overselling it a little. Still, as far as terrible 80's horror films with little-known actors and over-dramatic soundtracks go, Nightmare On Elm Street is pretty flippin' awesome. And I'm not just saying that because I love them. Crappy slasher movies from before I was born, that is. Although I do. I really do.
Not only are they hilarious and entertaining as hell, but they actually make me feel smarter. They do. They do! Like, alot smarter. Like, hey-I-just-built-a-spaceship-wrote-a-ten-thousand-page-novel-and-found-a-cure-for-cancer smart. Mainly because all the characters are complete morons.
I don't get it. I really don't get it. Why are these people so stupid? How are they so stupid? And how come they all live in the same place? Is that just a coincidence? Or are there special towns in America for people who have no common sense?
Welcome to Ogdenville: Idiots Only!
Seriously though, these people are totally brainless. It's like they're asking to be killed. Actually asking. Really, I mean, it's not that hard to keep yourself alive.
The rules are simple: If you think someone is after you, DO NOT LEAVE THE HOUSE ALONE AT NIGHT.
Don't do it.
Just don't do it!
Or, if you feel that you really really have to, at least make sure you're wearing pants. I'm not kidding - half the characters that went looking for the murderer did it in a t-shirt and undies. And nothing else.
Call me crazy, but if I was venturing out into a dark alley to confront a disfigured serial killer who has serated knives where his fingernails should be, I'd want to be wearing pants. Just, you know. I'm all for showing off your legs and everything, but that seems like the kind of situation where you don't wanna be bare-assed.
Maybe that's just me though.
Anyway, now I'm going to stop, because I've been going on about wearing pants/not wearing pants for so long, I've kind of forgotten what the point of this post was.

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