I'm Back Babydoll!!

I've been a pretty absent blogger lately, which I don't feel good about, because if you ask me, 'Absent Blogger' is the worst kind of blogger out there. If I dedicate myself to a blog, I want the author to be updating at least 5 times a week. I mean it - strap that laptop to your chest if you have to, just get it done. 1 post every fortnight doesn't cut it.
So yeah, I suck. Sorry about that.
But hello world, I hope you're ready for 8 weeks of insatiable online ranting because I'M ON HOLIDAYS!
Holidays holidays holidays!
I'M ON HOLIDAYS!!!
Hey did I mention to you guys that I'm on holidays? I did? Did I? Well, just in case, here's a reminder:

I'M ON HOLIDAYS!!!!

I'M ON HOLIDAYS!!!!

I'M ON HOLIDAYS!!!!

Wow. Yep. I am excited. I think it's because these holidays seem so much sweeter than any other I've ever had - Mainly because it means my collection for college is finally done and dusted, but also because at the end of them my sister is moving out, thus surrendering the entire top storey of our house to my control.

Oh yeah. My parents are so not excited about that.

Anyway.

I don't know if this is just because I've got nothing else to do (oh how sweet it is to say those words), or because I have some weird fixation with killing my own brain cells, but I just got done watching a whole bunch of Simple Life episodes. Yes, and I mean Simple Life. As in The Simple Life. As in That Brain-Cell-Killing Reality Shit Starring Paris Hilton And Nicole Richie. This show is like the jellybean of television. You know what I'm talking about? If you're eating jellybeans, the first 2 or 3 or 4 are fantastic. They're sugary, they're chewy, they're bean-shaped...sensational. But eating a whole bag in one sitting makes you feel pretty sick. Like you need to either vomit or wash your face - but you can't decide which one to do first, so you end up puking into a soap dish. Right?
And just for the record, I have never puked into a soap dish. I'm just saying.

So now I'm watching The Hangover. Yeah. Big TV day for me. I am living the high life, alright.
What was I saying again? Oh yeah, The Hangover. Anybody seen it? It's pretty darn great. The best part is...oh, I can't choose. There are too many best parts. See? That's how good this movie is - the whole thing is the best part. If I had to pick one, I'd probably say...maybe the bit where they get mauled by a tiger. Or any scene where Bradley Cooper is shirtless.
Damn, they should have combined those two. Half-Naked Bradley Cooper getting mauled by a tiger sounds weirdly hot to me. Oh, I am a strange one. But yeah, The Hangover is awesome. Don't miss it.

Speaking of things that are awesome and not to be missed, Christmas is coming up. Did you guys know that? Holy balls did it sneak up on me this year. Not that I'm complaining - anyone who knows anything knows that Christmas is by far my favourite day of the year. Wentworth Miller's Birthday is a close second (I mean who doesn't love any excuse to bake a future-husband-shaped-cake?), but Christmas takes the gold. So anyway, what do you guys want? I'm making my shopping list now. Chocolates? Jewellery? A scented candle? My promise to keep blogging at least once a day for the rest of eternity? Let me know.
Gifts are tricky. It's hard to keep buying for the same people year after year. Especially for my mother:

Mum: I'm going shopping - what do you want for Christmas?
Jacki: I would like to appear as a guest on The Ellen Degeneres Show, please.
Mum: (pause) How about a wallet?

Well, maybe for my birthday.
Anyway, I'll make it easy for you guys and say there's no need to get me anything. Unless your name is Wentworth Miller - then I would like a platinum engagement ring. And if you could give it to me while we are both appearing as joint guests on The Ellen Degeneres Show, that would be fantastic. Thanks.