why wholemeal bread sucks ass

umm
so today i had finished studying, being my studious self, so i went downstairs to get some lunch.
you heard me. lunch
so anyway i decided to have some toast. lovely toast. how delightful.
well actually NO it was not so delightful on account of the fact that as soon as i pushed the toaster-button-thingie down, i realised
GASP
no!
IT WAS WHOLEMEAL BREAD!!
how can this be? why would this be? my mum KNOWS i hate wholemeal bread, why would she possibly have any reason to buy wholemeal bread and tie the bag with the same blue tie as she does the white bread, and put it in the same place in the pantry she doesnt the white bread!!!
WHYYYYY
so anyway after i got over the initial shock of the fact that i almost consumed wholemeal bread, i found that lucky little me, there was still one piece of white bread left in the white bread bag in the pantry, so i could still have the wonderful wonderful whitebread-toast-ish lunch i had dreamed of.
so i took the piece of white bread and lovingly put it in the toaster, and was about to push down the toaster-button-thingie when i recieved another shock...
...
ok...
THERE WAS MOULD ALONG THE TOP OF THE BREAD
my piece of bread
MY PIECE OF BREAD
the ONLY PIECE OF WHITE BREAD LEFT IN THE ENTIRE HOUSE AND IT HAS MOULD ON IT AND THE ONLY THING THAT MAYBE EVEN COMES CLOSE TO DISGUSTING ME AS MUCH AS WHOLEMEAL BREAD IS MOULD.

what is this? some kind of sick joke? natures way of forcing me to be healthy? well it wont work i tell you! i have to stand strong! defend myself against salad and wholemeal and, gasp, dare i say it...low gi!
sigh.
so anyway i had to resort to eating some other crappy lunch which was so crappy that i cant even remember what it was.
and now i have to go to the shops because im still craving for white bread and if i dont have any in the next ten seconds i will probably die.
so there you have it.
death to wholemeal