Saturday, April 02, 2011

Sexmum!

I just realised I've been completely misusing the word erroneous.
Dammit!  This is worse than the time I forgot to thank George Clooney in my Oscar acceptance speech.  That never actually happened, but you can imagine how stupid you'd feel, right?


I have really got to give reading the dictionary another try.


In other news, I have decided to act like a giant knob who assumes people actually read her blog, and sign up for AdSense.  That's this program that puts commercials on your website so you can make money off it.  I think.  Maybe.  Like, do you only get paid if people actually click on the commercials and read them?  And who even runs this company?  Suddenly, giving them my home address and phone number doesn't seem like such a smart idea.
Ahh, well.
So after that, I was mucking around on the Blogger dashboard and found some interesting statistics.  Check out some of the things people have Googled to find my blog:

1. Gay Easter Bunny
I have no idea.  I think it might have something to do with the picture I posted here, but I can't for the life of me figure out why anyone in their right mind would search the internet for an article on the Easter Bunny's sexual orientation.  I mean, I'd probably do it, but I am clearly not in my right mind.  And I don't even talk about whether or not the Easter Bunny is gay in that post - just whether or not he/she is a dude.
2. Sexmum
Whoa!  Talk about two topics you never want to hear in the same sentence.  I love how this person hasn't even bothered to separate the two words, either.  Like they were in such a rush to find a website full of sexy mothers that they didn't have time to hit the spacebar.  Or perhaps 'Sexmum' is some pervy teenage boys idea of the latest superhero.  She does the laundry, goes grocery shopping, picks the kids up from school and still has time to pleasure her husband.  And on Friday nights she moonlights as a stripper at Bada Bing.  Don't ask me why I know the name of an actual strip club in Kings Cross, just go with it.  Sexmum!

3. How To Make A Homemade G-String
Well, anonymous internet searcher, you've come to the right place!  I don't know whether it's hilarious or depressing, but this is something I can actually give advice on.  It was a while ago so most of you probably don't know about it, but as a primary schooler I was involved in an accident with a bus stop, a dumpster, a metal hook and a really old pair of pants.  I don't wanna rehash the whole thing.  You can read about it here.  And let's just say Sexmum doesn't hold a candle to 9-year-old me.

Anyway.  This post is pretty boring, but it's been a pretty slow day.  My cat even decided to take a bath:

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