So here's my latest idea: you know how (at least, in Hollywood movies and Nicole Richie novels) they have those fancy hospitals out in the desert for people with, um, substance abuse issues? Rehab? They need to invent one for people addicted to TV shows. I'm having serious My Kitchen Rules withdrawals. What? Yes, I am a crazy person. That doesn't make My Kitchen Rules any less incredible. Did you guys see the finale? Did you SEE it? I'm guessing no. I never know how long I should make my rants about MKR because I'm not entirely sure if I was the only one watching it or not, but I will say this: that was the greatest two hours of television I have witnessed in the past 6 months. INCLUDING the double episode of Real Housewives I caught on Arena last weekend.
I think this post is mostly going to be about television.
I saw a Channel 7 news update the other day. Well, I didn't so much see it as I listened to it in the background while putting my makeup on. Usually I have little to no interest in shows like Today Tonight, mostly because they're more 'human interest pieces' than actual news, and also because for me, Matthew White lost all credibility after appearing on Dancing With The Stars. I don't care if the trophy is a giant glass and perspex disco ball, DWTS is for knobs. Or to be more specific, women who are knobs and men who have no knobs.
Wow. I am an idiot.
Anyway, back to what I was saying before: Today Tonight was on in the background and I happened to hear the back end of a report about a runaway bull wreaking havoc at an Easter Show parade this week.
Oh. My goodness. Where to begin?
I think my favourite thing about ths story is the phrase 'runaway bull'. Is there a funnier or more attention-grabbing combination of words in the English language than that?
I say there isn't.
And about the Easter Show: has there even been a parade involving bulls where something didn't go wrong? When are people going to learn? When you put farm animals, fairy floss and upwards of 3000 Aussies in one place, you just know at some point the shit is gonna hit the fan. This is exactly why I haven't gone to the Easter Show since I was 16: if anyone's unlucky enough to get in the way of a crazed bull this holiday season, it's me. Plus it's like 40 bucks just to get in, and (if you don't count the money I've saved for the new apartment), I'm two steps away from living in a cardboard box.
Speaking of the new apartment, I've just made an executive decision that when Alex and I move out, our home should have a name. Alex, are you reading this? Our house is having a name. I made an executive decision. It's happening. And by that I of course mean 'we don't really have to name the house, I'm just the kind of idiot who thinks it would not only be hilarious, but also a great way to confuse our new neighbours. Please don't stop being my best friend'.
Anyway, here is a list I made of possible monikers:
- Kitchen HQ
- Studio 69
- You Wish You Lived Here