"Boner" is one of the funniest words in the English language.
There are a few things in this world I simply can't see or hear without laughing. No matter how many times I see/hear them. There's one in particular (which actually only happened the other night) that's so good I can't even talk about it here. I'm saving it for the book. But I will give you a teaser and say it involves the words I've punched him in the face three times. Intruiged? I would be.
While we're on the subject of things that happened the other night...I don't know if you guys have heard about this, but I recently joined the gym. I know, it's weird. The gym is for healthy people, right? I honestly can't believe they gave me a membership. But they did, and on Sunday afternoon, Alex and I had ourselves a little workout. Wait, little? No. We sweated for like two hours! At least, that's what I'm telling people in order to justify the fact that we went to the pub afterwards.
[Insert Sheepish Smile Here]
No, you know what? I don't even care. I doubt champagne even has that many calories. Plus it's not our fault that 'one innocent gin and tonic' turned into 'five hours and three bottles with a group of guys we happened to meet'.
The best part about these guys is that the whole five hour (not kidding) interaction started with a conversation about a plastic poncho. If that's not a solid basis for a life-long friendship, I don't know what is. I might be lying about the life-long friendship, but they were alot of a fun. You know those times where you meet someone and feel like you can say whatever you want to them straight away? Within 20 minutes of them sitting down, we were in the midst of a heated debate about dental dams. I am not even joking. I woke up on Monday morning and the search history on my iPhone read: Dental Dam - Mouth or Vagina?
I found my people.
This whole 'dental dam' thing was probably my favourite part of the evening for two reasons:
1) We were kind of getting to the stage where grabbing the bartender and asking him if he knew anything about dental dams (and whether they were intended for mouth or vagina) seemed totally normal. I don't know what kind of training bartenders go through these days, but this guy practically gave us a 30-minute lecture on dental dams, the origin of the dental dam, uses of the dental dam, why it's called a dental dam...I think he may have actually invented the dental dam. At the very least, you just KNOW he has like, 45 of them stuffed in his bedside table. And
2) Using our phones to Google 'dental dam' led to a conversation about Google, which led to a conversation about the internet, which led to this:
Alex: By the way, you guys should totally read Jacki's blog.
Because nothing says 'Great Girlfriend Potential' like 'Not Only Do I Drink Champagne After I've Gone To The Gym, I Also Can't Stop Narrating My Own Life Via The Internet'.