First...whoa. Lets take a moment to acknowledge how long its been since I blogged. As much as I'd love to say it's because none of you have been commenting, and I decided the best punishment was withholding posts, we all know the actual reason is that I'm too boring, too lazy and too consumed with the task of sewing 8 kilometres of hideous green velvet curtains for my ex-boss. At least, I have been. UNTIL NOW.
Here's something blog worthy: It's my sister's 21st birthday in exactly...6 days! And her 21st party in exactly 8. Are you invited? All the cool kids are. If you're not, don't feel bad. It just means you aren't cool. And hey, I myself was probably only invited by default. You know, since I LIVE at the venue.
But yeah. Sister. Birthday. 6 days. And I don't wanna talk myself up or anything, but Catherine, if you're reading this you should get excited. Because the present I got for you, well, it might just be the best thing I have ever gotten anyone. It might just be the best thing ever. Like, the best thing in existence. Apart from Wentworth Miller. Wentworth Miller is the best thing in existence. But your present is a close second.
Okay, now that I'm done with my daily pointless-Wentworth-Miller-related-rant, I'm going to tell you about the ghost living in my sewing machine.
Yeah, there is a ghost living in my sewing machine. Or rather, a poltergeist. There is a poltergeist living in my sewing machine. I don't know if there's actually a difference between the two, but the word poltergeist is fun to say, so that's what I'm going with. Right, so, here's what happened. You guys know about how I'm sewing curtains for my ex-boss, right? If you don't, I'll fill you in:
I'm sewing curtains for my ex-boss.
Anyway, the machine I'm using is fairly old and temperamental, and if you leave it on for too long, it tends to get tired and heat up and explode into a thousand tiny pieces, killing everyone and everything within a 2km radius.
So I have to remember to turn it off when I'm not using it.
Right. So the other day I was sitting at the table next to the sewing machine, innocently pinning fabric, when I noticed it was making a sort of whirring noise. Which wouldn't have been so weird, except that it wasn't on. It was OFF.
And okay, that doesn't exactly say poltergeist.
But THEN, the whirring noise started getting louder. And louder. This is when I started to get concerned - Mum was going to be pretty pissed if half our neighbourhood was destroyed in a freak sewing machine explosion accident that I could potentially have prevented from happening. So I not only made sure the machine was switched off, but I turned it off at the powerpoint, and pulled out the plug.
But the whirring noise? IT JUST GOT LOUDER!!! And then?
And then, THE NEEDLE STARTED MOVING UP AND DOWN, ALL BY ITSELF.
I don't believe in all that supernatural stuff, but if that doesn't spell ghost-trapped-in-the-sewing-machine, I don't know what does.
Oh, and okay, let me just clarify one thing before I go. Yes, I am totally insane. I'm aware of that. Thanks.