top ten

the Top Ten theories that might make me look crazy, but cause all of you to secretly think 'man, shes a genius!'

10. If you eat ice cream with a teaspoon, it takes longer to eat, and makes it seem like you get more.

9. The reason they killed Sara on Prison Break is because they found out I was going to America in 2008 and they wanted to recruit me as Michael’s new love interest – they’re now bringing her back because it turns out I’m only in USA for 3 weeks, which isn’t long enough to film a whole season. 2009 - It will happen.

8. There is a teeny tiny microchip located inside my body which causes every piece of electronic equipment around me to malfunction. Sounds crazy, doesn’t it? It starts to sound less crazy after 6 iPods, 2 curling irons, 3 laptops, 1 graphics calculator, 5 phones, and, this just in – a hair straightener

7. Telling your parents that your tattoos are just ‘drawn on with a sharpie’ will work

6. Facebook is a trap. One day, whoever owns it will sell the whole thing – like those two guys sold youtube – to some freak like Ivan Milat, and the next thing you know, Ivan Milat will be inviting us all to ‘events’ on the side of the Hume Highway at 2 in the morning.

5. The Channel 7 executives read my blog. Hey, they brought ‘Bones’ back, didn’t they?? You can thank me later.

4. The voice-over announcements at the train station are done by Gretel Killeen. If you don’t believe me, listen the next time you’re at The Forum or wherever. Plus, it totally makes sense – she couldn’t get anyone else to hire her after Big Brother.

3. People think that because Nicole Kidman grew up in Longueville, they will be able to find the next Hollywood Superstar here – first they filmed Superman on Kenneth St, and, this just in – there was an Oak Milk commercial shot at the Longueville Rd bus stop!

2. My cat is in love with me. No, she doesn’t love me. She is in love with me – how else can you explain the fact that she eats all my clothes? SHE WANTS TO SEE ME NAKED!!

and the number 1 theory that might make me look crazy but causes all of you to secretly think 'man, shes a genius!'...

1. Emily Deschanel and I are destined to be friends – there are very few people in the world who watch Bridezillas and enjoy it. I am one of these people. So is she.