Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Shower Thoughts #22

so its not really a shower thought, more like something that happened to me while i was in the shower and i thought "you know what, this isnt necessarily a thought, but its so irritating that i feel like writing it down so that other people can laugh at me, because im jacki, and thats what i do".

basically. last week my mum realised that our upstairs shower (in other words the shower that i always use) was leaking
leaking? i never noticed it was leaking. arent showers supposed to leak? i mean, water IS supposed to come out right?
but anyway my mum insisted on getting some knows-how-to-fix-leaking-things-even-if-they-are-supposed-to-leak-at-least-jacki-thinks-they-are type guy comes and fixes the shower and tells me im not allowed to use it for the next 3 days or something
so as if THAT isnt annoying enough since i had to move all my shower stuff downstairs and wash in my parents shower for the next 3 days, and they have one of those bath/shower combo things, you know where you have to stand IN the bath while you have a shower?
anyway im really not good with those things, especially this one, because ends of the bath kind of slope upwards, and i always stand with my heel in the plughole, so the bath fills up with shower water and it gets really slippery and one day ill probably break my neck, but whatever thats not the point

the point is that tonight was the first night when i was actually able to shower in my own shower again (and could that night come fast enough)
so i got all my stuff and got into the shower and thought
somethings different
anyway i turned on the taps and closed the door (from the outside because i never get in until the water has been running for at least 3 minutes so it can heat up), and waited for like 3 minutes and then jumped in and WHAT THE HELL THE WATER IS FREEZING AND ITS TOUCHING ME SO IM FREEZING AND THE ONLY THING I CAN THINK OF THAT COULD POSSIBLY BE AS COLD AS THIS IS THAT BLANKET AT CASEYS HOUSE, OR MAYBE FALLING OFF THE TITANIC.
what? what? why is this happening to me? and then i realised
so basically, the hot tap is now cold, and the cold tap is now hot
heres where the big problem started
now im not that stupid. i can add numbers with the best of them. i can hand in my essays on time. but i couldnt for the life of me work out the handles. and i dont know why!
"maybe he didnt actually swap the taps, maybe the water is just taking longer to heat up because its winter"

"no, he changed the taps. so i have to put more cold in"

"putting more cold in doesnt make sense. maybe ill just wait for it to heat up"

no, ill put more hot in. maybe i need to turn the hot tap further for it to work"

"no, he definitely switched the taps. so that means i need to put in more..."

"cold. no, hot. no, cold. no, hot"

so in the end i just ended up weeping because the only setting i was able to maintain was searing searing hot.
so now as well as having to experience the worst shower in history, i also no longer possess skin.
thanks alot shower guy.


he who stalks.. said...

sounds very dreary..find somebody to swap the shower guys testicles around so he wont know if he is coming or going....

Anonymous said...

I'm actually wetting myself.

And nothing will ever be as cold as Casey's.

- The one who wiped your face free of vomit.

special gem said...

the same thing happened to me!!! excpet we didnt have profesh guy come and fix our shower we had my brother with no shower experience so he switched the taps too and i was like "why did u even touch the taps its the shower head thats the problem what on earth would possess you to switch the taps?!?!" and hes like i dont no gees its just the shower