Nightly Nude Run

Ok, so I've just got home from school, and I go upstairs to have a shower, but I go to the toilet first... so I'm naked on the toilet, and then I go to use some toilet paper...this is how the conversation goes: Jacki: (completely forgetting that I am butt-naked, I run out of the toilet and to the top of the stairs) Mum? MUM??? MU-U-UM??? Mum: (Very faintly from downstairs) Yes? Catherine: (Walks out of bedroom but does not see me yet) Why dont you just go downstairs and talk to her - WHAT THE HELL? Why are you naked? Mum: What do you want Jacki??? Jacki: (Running down the stairs) MUM!!!! Did you change the toilet paper? Mum: Why are you naked? Jacki: Just answer the question!!! Mum: Yes, I did Jacki: WHY??? That toilet paper was nice!!! Mum: I only got that one because it was on special. Catherine: (Vaguely attempting to sheild her eyes) Yeh, it was probably expensive. AT THIS POINT BOTH MUM AND CATHERINE WALK AWAY TO CONVERSE IN THE PRIVACY OF THE LAUNDRY...NOT FOR LONG. I, WANTING TO JOIN THE CONVERSATION, BUT REALISING THAT NEITHER MUM NOR CATHERINE SEEK THE PLEASURE OF MY NAKEEYNESS, RUN TO THE KITCHEN AND PUSH MY LEGS THROUGH THE BOTTOM OF A GARBAGE BAG, THEN CUT ARMHOLES AND WALK DOWN THE HALL, SEIZING A BELT AND TYING IT ON FOR EFFECT. Catherine: So, blah blah blah, oh not you again! Jacki: Yes, its me, and I want to be included. Mum: Jacki, put some pants on. Jacki: Fine ( I, noticing catherine is holding a pair of pyjama pants, grab them, and run down the hall, pulling off my garbage bag, and put the pyjama pants on instead.) THE END!!!! note: When I was naked, yes, i was covering the important bits up)

Im baaaaak

Well hot-dog...we have a weener

Yay get xcited somebody actually WON my scrambled word competition
yes yes yes it was CLARE
congratulations clare, you have won a lolly-pop and you will get it when i stop having no money :)

Tv Madness

Ok ok ok ok ok ok so THIS is very xciting, yes yes yes its time for jackis
GUIDE TO LIFE..............todays lesson is Best Tv Shows Of All Time
The OC, Will and Grace, Home&Away, Untalkative Bunny, Baywatch Hawaii, Beverly Hills 90210, Seventh Heaven, Sweet Valley High, That-Show-On-Channel-Two-With-The-Robot-Boy, The Weekenders, Thats So Raven, Jenny Jones, Maury Povich, Freaky Stories, Too-Sey-Qua, Everybody loves Raymond, 60 Seconds of Fame, Suprise Suprise, Wild Boys, Jackass, Newlyweds, The-Ashlee-Simpson-Show, Shortcuts, Dave the Barbarian, The Simple Life, Big Brother, Australian Idol, Survivor, Treasure Island.....
AND MANY MORE THAT I CANT REMEMBER AT THE MOMENT
stay tuned for another
GUIDE TO LIFE...........

Weird Words#2.....OC

Ok, now I might be wrong here, but I am just wondering why the OC is called the OC
I mean obviously wee all know that it stands for Orange County, but um, ex-ca-use me, is there anything orange about where they live???
NO
But I still love the OC more than any other show (yes yes yes its true, Home&Away is now second on the list of my favourite shows of all time)
And yes yes yes yes yes im so bored now
OHMIGOSH I JUST HAD A BREAKTHROUGH

Tick Tock

OMIGOSH DID YOU GUYS FORGET MY COMPETITION!!!???
The time is running short for my 'unscramble-the-word-for-a-fabulous-prize-yes-beth-thankyou-very-much-there-is-a-prize-i-will-have-you-know-young-lady' competition!!!!
And so far Casey is the only competitor, but she hasnt got it right, so I am very distressed...well not really because I mean, who really could be bothered???
So yes yes yes I am hot lets jump in the pool AND dont forget to enter the competition...

(just look for the rainbow post to enter)

Natural Bloggers Strike Back

Yes yes yes Beth I read your comment on natural bloggers and I sort of understand...I blog alot about embarrasing moments, because they happen to me alot...but does that make me natural??
I dont know...do you have to blog about relevant things to be a Natural Blogger...because if that is the case, then my hope is forever lost lol.

Kiera likes this one

Guess what?? Its that time of the week again...yes yes yes thats right...its time for another one of JACKIS EMBARRASING MOMENTS!!! (one posted every monday)
Ok, so I went to the movies with Julia and Kiera, and then Julias mummy picked us up, and you know that carpark on the like top floor bit?? And you can walk around the corner of the box office to get to it??? Well yes yes yes, she parked there....and it was summer, so I was wearing a skirt that was made of material that wasnt heavy...IT WAS LIGHT, OH YES, OH YES OH YES IT WAS LIGHT MATERIAL EASILY BLOWN UP BY THE WIND BUT THATS NOT ALL!!!!!
So yes yes yes you can guess guess guess what happened (well actually you probably cant because if this happened to anyone else they would probably die of shame and then there would be no one to tell the story of embarrasment, so it has never been told so you have never heard of it) so we were walking out the door into the carpark to get to the CAR and then we walked out the door and suprise suprise my skirt blew right up and now my bright pink (and ever-so-slightly see through undies were now visible to the whole world, BUT THATS NOT ALL....
The amusing part is that I didnt notice that my skirt had even blown up until we had walked halfway across the carpark.
ba-doom-cha!!

(and to all those people who are wondering if "the wind between your legs" really feels as good as they say, I am here to tell you..................yes, yes it does.

Walking Woes

Is that how you spell woes??? WHAT THE HELL ARE WOES???
That doesnt matter because my legs hurt so much because this morning my bus didnt stop for me so i had to walk 3km to get to the train station and then this afternoon i was waiting for my mummy to pik me up and she NEVER CAME so i called her and she said she had to take Cathe to the doctor and so I HAD TO WALK ALL THE WAY HOME, YES, YES THAT IS RIGHT I HAD TO WALK LIKE 6KM IN ONE DAY (MAYBE MORE IF YOU COUNT WALKING DOWN TO SCHOOL AND ALL THE WALKING I DO IN BETWEEN CLASSES I AM SO ENRAGED RIGHT NOW.



actually no, I so cant be bothered to be enraged right now, so I'll just be quietly fuming in the corner.




on second thoughts, I cant even be bothered to do that.
Screw this being angry thing, Im going to get some ice-cream.

Natural Bloggers

Ok, so Beth was telling me about how she blogs once, maybe twice, maybe thrice a day, and Im like, I blog like once a week and shes like, yeh, some people are Natural Bloggers.
What the...???

This is Katherine (our netball coach)

Haha this is my dogs bum

Oscar the dog

Weird Words#1.....Kankle

Ok, I've just had a thought....wot is with the word kankle, ok???
I mean, seriously. We all know what a kankle is, right? Well its like when you have no ankles becoz your legs are so like, fat, that your bottom-leggy-bit just goes straight into your foot...not a pretty site.
So the first thing I noticed about this word is that it has the word 'ankle' in it...WHY??? why should ankle be part of the word if it isnt even part of the body part....people who have kankles have NO ankles. If there's no ankle on the leg, there shouldn't be an ankle in the word...should there??
The second thing I noticed was that the bit in front of the 'ankle' bit was a 'k'. WHY??? There is no 'k' in fat...there is no 'k' in obese...there is no 'k' in overweight....I AM SO CONFUSED!!! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?????
Who invented the word kankle becoz whoever it was i am going to smack their bottom.

Sleeping Patterns of 14 and 15 year olds

THIS is fascinating
Julia is doing some maths thing on the computer next to me BTW
I have an xciting moment for all of you
ITS TIME TO.....PLAY THIS RANDOM GAME THAT I JUST MADE UP THEN!!!!
yayayayayayyayyyyy!!! time to get xcited. ok, I tell you the rules
THERE ARE NO RULES.....
IF YOU CAN UNSCRAMBLE THIS WORD AND PUT THE ANSWER YOU THINK IT IS IN A COMMENT UNDER THIS POST THEN YOU WILL WIN SOMETHING!!!!!!!
WOWOWOWOOWOW!!!!! GET READY!!!!!!!!!
HERE IS THE WORD....
smlaubcrne
GOOD LUCK

Peek-a-boo

I was watching the OC last tuesday and you know the bit when Marissa was getting changed and she goes to Ryan, no peeking???
I like threw myself at the TV and screamed PEEK AT ME RYAN
random salsa

Responsible Jess

Jump up and down for joy.
Are we, the bin-killing half of the group really responsible for its demise? no
I would explain why, but I so cant be bothered.
Take a note from procrastonater spice: dont do anything.
FOR ALL OF YOU 'JACKIS-MOST-EMBARRASING-MOMENTS-LOVERS' GUESS WHAT????
i had an embarrasing moment this morning...
it is coming....
soon....
if i can be bothered....

BETH IS RIGHT...kiera sucks

THIS IS A VERY IMPORTANT NOTICE!!!!!
I have to announce that Beth is right and Kiera is wrong in the argument that they had in CCG when Kiera said that BethAndLukes relationship was scary
BECAUSE IT SO TOTALLY IS NOT KIERA ARE YOU SO INCAPPABLE OF EMITING HUMAN EMOTIONS THAT YOU DONT BELIEVE IN TRUE LOVE???
well thats wot i think anyway

Home-Made G-String

This is VERY INTERESTING so listen up
I will TELL you how to make a home-made g-string
you need two things:
an old pair of undies
a large dumpster (bin) with a hook on the side.
now, this is another embarrasing story that has happened to me (note: ALL the stories on this blog are COMPLETELY and UTTERLY TRUE!!! I promise)
I was waiting for my bus, and there was like this dumpster so I decided to stand on the side of it, like just randomly. So I was wearing pants, and they got caught on this hook on the side of the dumpster and then when I tried to get off, I was left hanging in mid-air (like 1.5 m off the ground) and then my pants finally gave way, and ripped. So there was a big hole in the back of my pants BUT THATS NOT ALL.
My fabulous pink floral undies had ALSO become cought on the hook, and had ALSO ripped, but the tear was SO XTREME that it split the seams on my undies, so that only one side remained...that may be hard to understand so ill make it easier...
THE REMAINING SEAM SLID SIDEWAYS AND I WAS LEFT WITH A HOME-MADE G-STRING.
WOW!!!! Be amazed
All of you people out there remember
I BELIEVE IN YOU
you CAN make your own g-string and I am living proof that it IS POSSIBLE!!!!!
MORE EMBARRASING MOMENTS SOON!!!

Naked in the pool

Well just because I am so CRAZY I would like 2 tell you about my most embarrasing moments.
Ok one is when I was in year two, and we had to have swimming lessons at lane cove pool and then so ok, i was like ill do backstroke and so you know how you like sit on the wall??? I would draw a picture but I cant so like, yeh.
So anyway, im in year two so I was wearing a one-piece cozzi and I push of from the wall and the straps came off my arms and I shot back so fast that my cozzi flew off and I was left wading NAKED in the pool in front of the WHOLE YEAR!!! as you can tell it was very embarrasing but also strangely comfortable...
MORE EMBARRASING MOMENTS COMING SOON...(if i can be bothered)

The best of Poo and Wee

AS YOU KNOW i had a blog called the best of poo and wee, there is nothing on it and there never will be because i FORGOT THE PASSWORD. so there
anyway, so yes, i am about to go to fitness first how WONDERFUL and I am just thinking.....
what would it be like to live in a vacuum, so I asked an old wise geezer and he told me
life in a vacuum sucks
ba-doom-cha!!!
so yes i was also thinking, what will the reward be for Julia, Kiera and Lauren?
WE WILL NEVER KNOW
until they tell us...which will probably be in like 4 minutes
but oh well
yes so ta-ta-for-now

me being CRAZY

We can weeeeeeee...in our pants

hey everybody!!!!
this this this is a BLOG and it is CRAZY so saddle up your booties
Louis Vuitton bags r cool, people who buy fake ones (like me and Julia) are so NOT RESPECTABLE I am SO ashamed of them they should BUCK UP and BUY A REAL ONE like jessica simpson who has a real one and took it camping...
Do you like camping, but only because of the marshymellows??? ME TOO!!! So wot you do, is you put a mini-tent up in the backyard and cook marshymellows on a candle, like I DID!!!!

Until tommorrow my fellow musketeers when i shall teach many more valuable lessons about life
GET OUT OF MY SIGHT YOU FILTHY DISH-RAG
have a nice day :)