Thursday, March 15, 2012

Tofu And Chocolate

So, tonights episode of My Kitchen Rules featured a quick-fire challenge wherein the contestants had to cook winning dishes using ingredients commonly hated by children.  Ie: blue cheese, olives, sardines, tofu and brussell sprouts.  I don't know - is this really that hard?  While I may technically be 22, I've got both the intellectual quality and taste buds of a 12-year-old, and the only one of these that I actually hate is brussell sprouts.  Plus they could use as many other ingredients as they wanted; it's pretty easy to create a delicious meal out of something as boring as tofu when you're allowed to stuff it with pork mince and salt.
The most annoying thing about MKR quick-fire challenges are the teams who don't have to compete.  Mostly because if I'm watching a show about competitive cooking, I want to be the only one who doesn't have to cook.  Also because they stand on the sidelines and make comments about the other dishes, like this:

Guy Who Doesn't Have To Compete:  There's too much lemon in that!  You won't be able to taste the brussell sprouts!

In my opinion, having enough lemon to hide the taste of brussell spouts is the smartest decision a potential chef could make.  For two reasons:
1) Brussell sprouts are fucking disgusting.
2) Brussell sprouts are fucking disgusting.
I think I should apply to be a judge on the next season of My Kitchen Rules.

In a complete 180, the second challenge of the night involved an ingredient that everyone loves - chocolate.  Again, how is this hard?  The only way to make chocolate taste bad is to mix it with something as foul as...well, brussell sprouts.  And even then I'd probably chow down like there's no tomorrow.
This is the one MKR test that I feel I'd be poor at judging.  I eat chocolate when I'm happy.  I eat chocolate when I'm sad.  I love chocolate so much, I sometimes dream of marrying it and having babies that I can snack on when I get hungry.  A contestant could literally serve me melted Cadbury in a bowl made out of paper towels and I'd give them at least a 7.  And I'd eat the paper towels too.

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