Tuesday, September 04, 2007

black sheep

so this afternoon mel gem and myself made the decision to go see that nobodys-heard-of-it-we-only-knew-about-it-because-sair-the-indie-film-freak-sent-us-some-email-about-it-like-6-months-ago-and-being-vandy-we-couldnt-resist-something-which-involved-flesh-eating-farm-animals movie, also known as Black Sheep.
whatever

i can certainly say Black Sheep lives up to the reputation of the New Zealand film corporations standards, only because im pretty sure its the only movie the New Zealand film corp has actually ever made. and ever will make.
no offence to whoever thought up the idea of genetically mutated sheep who escape from the laboratory, spread their canabalistic qualities throughout the farm by biting other sheep/people/dogs and are pretty much indestructable thanks to the whole genetics thing, but what the hell?
the movie opened with a fairly amateur montage of green hills, farm houses, cliff tops, sheepdogs and hideous accents, and it pretty much went downhill from there, with flesh eating sheep foetuses (yeah im not kidding. FOETUSES), blonde girls named 'Experience', extremely unrealistic and completely disgusting surround sound effects, and an entirely serious scene where one of the crazy sheep drives a truck. of course it didnt help that one of the main characters bore a striking resemblance to Mr Obrien, and that, later on in the movie, he was stabbed in the side of the head with an aeroplane propellor, shortly after having sex with a sheep.
i also loved the fact that whenever there was an unexpected twist in the plotline which didnt make sense in the slightest - such as the fact that the whole mutation process could be reversed if the thing that had been bitten just drank some sort of mystery liquid that one of the characters found in the barn - it was all put down to 'genetics' and 'science'.
there was also that whole hey-the-timing-in-this-movie-doesnt-really-make-sense thing: when Tucker was bitten by one of the sheep it took about 98 seconds for his whole left leg to morph into a wool-coated hoof, but Henry was also bitten and his bite never progressed further than a nasty gash with white hair sprouting out of it. I also found it hard to fathom how Tucker was affected by the killer-sheep, seeings as he was bitten on the foot while wearing shoes, and loved the fact that Angus met up with Grant just after Grant had been bitten by the original killer-sheep (by this point, Grant was about halfway through his transformation into a sheep, and his head pretty much resembled the backside of a goat thats been run over, but Angus carried on having a conversation, not at all noticing the fact that he was pretty much TALKING TO ROADKILL)
so, to sum up, it was 110 minutes of mutation, beastality, mindless murder, and complete ridiculous, and is pretty much the best movie ive ever seen

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