stalked

so on the way home, i had to walk the whole way from the station, which totally sucked hairy balls, since it is like a dillion kilometres.
anyway
on my way home i have to walk past this bit near a golf course, and it is like a wood
seriously
a wood
i didnt even know woods actually existed apart from in movies like Frankenstein, but hey, apparently they do
and anyway, this just happens to be the same wood where that freak-o granny killer killed all those grannies like whenever, and i am totally NOT lying about this since i saw it once on this documentary on tv
so yeah
its true. so shut up
anyway when i walk past this bit of wood i always try to not look anywhere near it, since i figure, if some killer is hiding in there, and they see me walk past looking, and they think im looking at them, theyll think
why is she looking at me? she must be a detective! ill kill her!
and then theyll come me. so its safer not to look, because then i wont be a witness to their violent attacks.
the problem is, i swear, like everytime i walk past this wood, which, by the way, is on the side of a highway, which every car in the world drives down, suddenly ALL THE CARS DISSAPEAR, and im ALL ALONE, IN FRONT OF A WOOD, WHERE THE GRANNY KILLER KILLED PEOPLE, AND IS PROBABLY WAITING TO KILL ME TOO!
anyway
back to the story
today, when i was walking past the wood, all the cars dissapeared, as usual, and i succumbed to the temptation to look into the wood, and what did i see?
what did i see?
nothing
and then i looked a little bit harder, and what did i see?
a body bag
yeah, thats right
A FREAKING BODY BAG
and did that body bag have some mauled person in it?
PROBABLY
im just saying
and then i had to run the whole way home of course, because if i stayed there one second longer i probably would have ended up in a body bag aswell, and when i got home this is what happened:
mum: hi, how was your day?
jacki: oh it was fine
mum: thats good
jacki: except that i saw a BODYBAG!
mum: a body bag? where?
jacki: in the woods! i saw a bodybag in the woods!
mum: what woods? since when have you been anywhere near a wood? what are you on?

this is what i get
theyll be sorry when i end up in some wolf-creek wannabe movie