attacked

well
again i have been brutally attacked by a spider that was trying to kill me because it is the destiny of every spider on the planet to attack me and kill me
because its like their job
spiders were put on this world to attack and kill jacki trew
spiders and maths teachers
anyway catherine, my hero, saved me from the killer spider which is now lying dead at the top of the stairs so i cant go downstairs because its blocking the path and theres no way i can jump over it because what if it comes back to life and jumps onto the back of my neck?
and then ill fall down the stairs and end up at the bottom.
And even if im not dead then, someone in my house will probably be like
a crazy person falling down the stairs!!!
and light me on fire or something, and then ill run out to the pool and jump in, to stop myself from being on fire.
But then even if i didnt die from being on fire then the shark that i think is hidden in the bottom of the pool will probably be released from its underpool cage and will eat half of my body off.
And even if im not dead then, ill probably be so disorientated from the blood loss that ill trip over my face and get impaled on my dads drill or something
And even if im not dead then, and someone comes to rescue me, it will probably be Ewan, because we are destined, and i will die from the sight of him because he is the sexiest man in existance.
And even if im not dead then, the spider will still be on the back of my neck and it will bite me with its face and i will be killed.
so, to sum up, all spiders are trying to kill me.