Tuesday, February 08, 2011

Uber-Vamp VS The Abominable Anaconda

I'm guessing about a thousand people have blogged about this already, so I'm about to be the thousand-and-first. Has anyone else heard about this yet?Okay, two things:
1) Ha! I laughed out loud for literally eight whole minutes when I saw this. And
2) It took eight minutes of out-loud laughter to make me realise...I have no idea what VD means.

And I mean, okay. Obviously I know what it means. It's an STD, right? But what do the letters 'VD' actually stand for? I racked my brains for an extra minute or two and all I came up with was 'Vaginal Disease'. Which, you know, makes sense, but for some reason - aside from the obvious - just doesn't feel right. Ah, well. Regardless, I think this advertising campaign (which is for the TV show The Vampire Diaries, in case you were wondering) is not only hilarious, but brilliant. That show is marketed at young adults, right? And you know young adults these days - if it's not about Facebook, Robert Pattinson or vaginal disease, we're just not interested.
I bought a new pair of shoes recently. It's only been a week or so, and they're really only a pair of shoes, but I think I'm in love. Ha. Not really of course. But they are pretty amazing, as far as shoes go. In light of recent events, I've decided to name them my 'Fuck You! And My Shoes Are Amazing!' shoes. They were originally just my 'Fuck You!' shoes on account of the fact that the day I bought them, those were the only two words running through my head. I tacked on the second part when I put them on the for the first time and experienced an emotion greater than Nirvana, or that feeling you get after finally plucking an ingrown hair out of your knee. Not that I've ever had something as unladylike as an ingrown knee hair.
I'm just saying.

So back to The Vampire Diaries. I know I'm a little late on this, but what the hell is humanity's obsession with vampires these days? Twilight, True Blood, The Daybreakers, Vaginal Disease, Underworld, Blade...I don't know how much more I can take! God knows I have no objection whatsoever to the idea of some hot shirtless dude with fangs chewing the crap outta my neck, but there's only so many times you can watch Kristen 'Bella Swan' Stewart umm and aah her way though a red carpet interview before you crack and wind up in the bathtub eating your own hair. You know what I'd like to see more of? Those epic, low-budget, we-cross-bred-like-four-different-species-of-animal-half-of-which-are-either-fictional-or-extinct-and-pitted-them-against-each-other-in-a-glorious-battle-to-the-death movies. Mega Shark VS Giant Octopus ringing any bells? How about DinoCroc VS The Super Gator?
Legit. I can only imagine the result of a Twilight/Mega Shark crossover film. Uber-Vamp VS The Amobinable Anaconda seems like the kind of movie Hollywood executives would use to take over the world:

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