Caffeine & Cynicism

What up, my bitches?

So.

I was standing in the staff room at work earlier, and happened to notice this cardboard box sitting behind the recycling bin:

Well! I thought. Isn't that nice? A thoughtful warning for those of us who possess less-than-satisfactory coordination when it comes to sharp objects! If only this had come a week earlier, before I accidentally took a chunk out of my bicep with the box-cutter while unpacking an order of shampoo. But still. Very thoughtful. Very very thoughtful.

Then I took a look at the writing below the 'warning':
Schibello.
As in, Schibello Coffee.
As in, This box is packed with plastic bags of Schibello Coffee.
As in, This box is packed with plastic bags of Schibello Coffee; don't use a knife to cut the box, or else you will probably break one of the bags and coffee will fly everywhere.
As in, These are simple unpacking instructions. NOT a health and safety warning. Jacki Trew, you are a moron. Learn how to handle a knife, you dunce.
...
Ever get the feeling that you've just been outwitted by a cardboard box? It's not pleasant.