Sunday, September 26, 2010

30 Days Alright

One of my favourite things about having Foxtel is that pretty much every Sunday afternoon without fail, there seems to be a crappy horror movie playing on at least one channel. I love watching these horror movies. I've made a little habit out of it. Being that Sunday is one of the only days I get off work, what better way to spend my time than by sitting in front of the TV for 2 hours absorbing some terrible movie that no one else has ever seen or will be able to dicuss with me?
Just for the record, I already know I'm an idiot, so there's no need to remind me. I'm talking to you, Owen. It's pretty obvious. Actually I think the only way I could be a bigger idiot right now is if I admitted to googling these movies both before and after I watch them, and then stalking each of the starring actors on
So let's just pretend I don't do that.

Today's movie was a little diddy by the name of 30 Days Of Night. It's a vampire movie, but don't let that turn you off; when I say 'vampires', I mean 'real vampires', not 'Twilight vampires'. These vampires were pretty flippin' badass, and that's putting it mildly. If given a choice between marrying Bella Swan and drinking her blood, you can bet none of them would be walking down the aisle. Or they might, but they'd be planning on violently dismembering every guest at the wedding. If any of you playing at home are actual fans of Bella Swan or the Twilight franchise, I wouldn't recommend this movie. Because no offense, but watching it might cause you to ruin the couch in your parents living room. And by that I mean you would totally shit your pants all over it. Since I'm the kind of genetic super freak who's seen all the Saw movies and makes serial-killer jokes on a daily basis, I don't count. But I'm guessing that any normal person would find 30 Days at least semi frightening; mostly because of Josh Hartnett's weird facial hair. Also because of this:Well. They're certainly no Cullen family.
Honestly, I can't understand why more vampire movies don't turn out like this. Sharp teeth, severed heads, and cars being lit on fire. When I think 'vampire movie', that's what I see. But apart from this one, the last THREE that I've seen have had an underlying story about - of all things - love. Please. If I wanted to sit and listen to two people pretending to fall in love, I'd just watch The Bachelor like everyone else.
I really don't have anything left to say about this movie, so now I'm going to talk about high school. Elle, Jane and I were listening to
Stars the other night and thinking about how funny it would be to time-travel back to 2007 and watch our past selves struggling through year 12. Because as moronic as I am now, I'm pretty sure it doesn't hold a candle to what I was like in high school:
1) I didn't drink coffee
2) I wrote an essay on Prison Break for my HSC English exam
3) I didn't drink coffee
Pfft. What an idiot, right? But it's okay.
I'm way more smarter these days.

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