WARNING

ok
ive said it before
and - because im too much of a complete moron to take my own advice - ill say it again

dont
dont
ever think you can drink three litres of diet coke just before bedtime and get away with it.
oh it seemed like a perfectly good idea at the time. practically ingenius, really.
but now its 5 in the morning and im yet to get to sleep because:
a) i am totally jacked up on caffeine
b) i have to get up every 8 seconds to pee

literally. ive been to the toilet so many times tonight that theres hardly any point in me bothering to wear pants because as soon as i put them back on, its time to take them off again.
luckily no other members of my family joined me in my crusade to consume every drop of diet coke in the house, so everyone else is to deep in sleep to notice me.
except for my cat, who is giving me a look thats one third amusement, one third disgust and one third pity.
whatever.