Lord Howe

so ive been back from lord howe for almost a week but - so sue me - i had better and MORE IMPORTANT things to do than sit around and blog.
ok.
that was a blatant lie.
i was just too lazy.
BUT. i did work for one day. wednesday.
and then on thursday i had to go to the bank. by the way, sidebar: banks are a totally grown-up and scary feature of life that i have no plans to make contact with again any time in the near future. I mean. It was so QUIET in there. Not to mention nearly everyone was wearing a suit. Even the GIRLS. Needless to say, I felt a tad out of place in my un-ironed guns n roses tshirt and a pair of blue shorts. Thank goodness I rememeberd to put shoes on. Whatever.

Where was I?
Oh yes. Lord Howe.
Basically it was the same blissful story as it is every year: 10 days of me and julia lying side by side on a sandy white beach listening to john mayer and justin timberlake and reading terrible trashy novels and magazine articles about the many ways in which Australians are slowly killing themselves (I swear if it wasnt sunbaking it was a poor diet or being a work-a-holic or, i dont know, standing too close to the microwave while you're heating up a criossant or whatever).

Oh. Also Eric Bana was there again. He stopped by our table at dinner on the first night to say hello and welcome us back. No big deal. I mean we are practically family at this point. I expect he'll make a personal dedication to us during his next award acceptance.
Yes.
Yes I am a giant giant dork.
And you love it.

What else? Oh I'm pretty sure the hotel we stay at is a certified fat farm, only not the kind that makes you lose weight, but the kind that feeds you and feeds you and feeds you until you can't even fit into maternity clothes let alone the eensy-weensy teeny-weeny yellow polka dot bikini you brought with you, only you dont really care because that mango cheesecake was just too damn good to resist. Oh baby.

Also Julia, Leigh and myself formed a band, so creatively named 'Mating in the shallows', and then discovered that the lyrics of our songs fore-told the future.
Eh hem.
For example, soon after the third or fourth rendition of our original hit 'Catherine got eaten by a shark', my sister Catherine was...shall we say...confronted?..by a shark while snorkeling. Which was of course hilarious to those of us who hadnt yet entered the water, and not so hilarious to those whose snorkelling goggles had fogged up so bad that they were unable to see that the shark was now heading in their direction.

I've just had a thought. Does anyone even read this anymore?
ha
haha