Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Cruise, Marry, Shag

In upsetting news, the computer I saved every completed chapter of my book on is now refusing to function.  Like, at all.  Fuck!  Sorry to swear, I know that's just pointless.  What I really mean to say is Hey!  Are There Any Computer Experts Out There Willing To Help?  I Will Totally Pay You In Sexual Favours And/Or Mention You In The Acknowledgements Page If I Ever Get Published!
Kidding About The Sexual Favours!
Except Not Really!

The only positive thing about this whole situation is that it's 100% typically, well, me, and exactly the kind of story I'll add to the chapter I'm tentatively calling 'Technology, And The Ways In Which Computers Have Fucked Up My Life'. 
So at least there's that to be thankful for.

You know what's really annoying about Grey's Anatomy?  Everything.  No, I'm only joking, it's a great show.  All I'm saying is that it might be kind of nice for Meredith to shut her freakin' trap every once in a while.  'Oh, woe is me, I'm a hot doctor who's married to another hot doctor, and I always have perfect hair even after a 10 hour surgery'.  I NEVER have perfect hair, and the only contact I've ever had with a hot doctor was during my last sexual fantasy about Chris Havel from Offspring.  Screw you, Meredith.  Ooh, good question:  Who would you rather have?  Chris Havel from Offspring or McDreamy from Grey's Anatomy
Speaking of ridiculously hot celebrities, and the insane notion that I will EVER have my choice of ANY of them...Jordan, Alex and I spent a good portion of last Wednesday night playing a little game some of you may have heard of called Shoot, Shag or Marry.  At least thats my version.  You know, where someone names 3 people and you have to choose which one you'd shoot, which one you'd have sex with, and which one you'd marry?  Alex prefers Cruise, Marry, Shag, where instead of getting to shoot someone, you have to take a year long cruise and spend every waking minute of it with them.  This version is especially painful when the combination of names is something like Mickey Rourke, Arnold Schwarznegger, and Jack Nicholson Playing The Joker in Batman
Or, Fat Bastard, Kermit The Frog and Hook-Weilding Serial Killer From I Know What You Did Last Summer.
Or, The Jonas Brothers.
At least if we'd been playing MY version, someone would have had the option of shooting Kevin Jonas in the face.  No offence, Kevin.  I'm totally against the use of guns, I really am.  It's just that your face annoys the shit out of me.  Regardless, it was a pretty fun night.  We drank, we played, we drank, we played, I think I started dancing at one point, we drank...and before any of us knew what was happening, it was 1:30 in the morning and 6 hours before Jordan had to get up for work, so the three of us turned off the lights and went to bed like good little children and nothing else happened, nothing at all.

Unless you count the orgy.

Kidding, Mum!  There was no orgy.  Technically, I don't think 3 people even counts as an orgy.  Oh my God, why am I still talking about orgys?  I need more sleep.  Talk to you guys later.

1 comment:

Kathy Garolsky said...

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