Wednesday, August 24, 2011

The Baby Whisperer

The genius of 8-year-old children is something that will never cease to amaze me.
Let me start from the beginning.
So I babysat the other night.  For the first time in roughly a dillion years.  Everyone's babysat before, right?  Okay maybe not the guys.  If you have a penis, you can disregard this.  Everyone's babysay before, right?  But it's really one of those things you do in highschool, when you need money but don't have time to get a real job.  Or when you actually don't mind being paid 10 dollars an hour.  Or when you're 16 and pregnant and practicing for when the real baby comes.
...That was never me, by the way.  I'm a 'happy-to-be-paid-minimum-wage' girl; always have been.
Anyway, where was I?
So I babysat the other night - mostly as a favour to an old friend of my Mum's who I can never seem to say no to on account of the fact that she's one of the very few acquaintances of my parents who will actually acknowledge me as Jacki Trew, rather than just The Less Successful Child Of Jane And Phillip.  Also I am broke as a joke and needed the cash.  But it was mainly the acknowledgement thing.
So it was Friday night.  Remember that night last week with all the rain and the wind and the insane amounts of traffic?  Yeah, Friday night.  Here is how many driving violations I made on the way there:
Kidding.  Actually it was only 5.  And I'm 80% sure that only 2 of them were my fault.  Luckily, once I got to the house, things improved.
...Well...kind of.
Does anyone else have one of those jobs that nobody understands?  I mean, does anyone else have one of those jobs that they spend 5 minutes describing only to have people go 'Ohhhh...*confused face*'
I have one of those jobs.
Which I totally get.  I get it.  I work in a hairdresser but I'm not a hairdresser.  I'm technically a receptionist but I also do apprentice tasks.  Do I want to work at T&G forever?  No.  But do I want to quit my job?  Hell no.  Like I say...I get it.  Some people think it's strange.  Sometimes I think it's strange.  But 8-year-old Grace...

Grace: So are you a hair cutter or a hair checker-inner?
Me: Um..a hair checker-inner.

Nailed it in 6 seconds.
I'm thinking that maybe I should reconsider my decision to never have babies.  The only people who understand me all seem to be under the age of 12.  Maybe this is my gift.  Maybe I'm like the Baby Whisperer.  Maybe I could shock everyone and do a totally awesome job of raising my kids!  Then again...

Grace: Oh, I like your nosering!
Me: Thanks dude.
Grace: Is that a permanent tattoo?
Me: Yep.
Grace: Did your parents tell you not to do that?
Me: Well technically no...but only because I didn't actually ask them.
Grace: Oh.  Cool!
Grace's Mum: *heart attack*

...Maybe not.

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